GOAL

I have mentioned that I have been close to my original weight loss goal for or some time.  My weight has been fluctuating and hovering just above that goal number but this weekend I got on the scale and found I had reached it.  Goooaaaalll!

When I was on vacation my sister was having me try clothes on from her closet - a new experience for me.  She gave me some capri pants and I wore her swimsuit for a couple of days.  Mine is still a big old plus size one.  swim suits are just so expensive and I didn't want to invest in one until I am at a stable size... We also tried on clothes at a consignment shop and I bought a few things in smaller sizes than I ever thought I would wear.  Pretty cool.

 I am now actively working to keep my weight at the current level.  Not just because my husband is calling me bony butt (we both miss my former JLo-ness) but because I think I have lost enough.  I have a lot of extra skin and a pretty major poochy lower stomach which can all be covered effectively with clothing.  I don't want to go further and get beyond my current "issues."  My sister is very into me getting plastic surgery to remove the excess skin (and weight) but it isn't something I am interested in spending money on in the foreseeable future.

I also can't keep buying new clothes!  I mean, I like shopping and buying clothes, I always have.  But now I want to buy clothes which will last in my wardrobe.  I  have too many things I have bought and worn a few times and now find are too big.  I am looking for a local consignment store (with a better attitude than than the ones in my town which are very snobby) and hope to make some trades with my too big clothes.

This week will be 10 months since weight loss surgery.  I continue to increase my capacity to eat but still have to be careful not to eat too fast or too much. I still count my protein every single day and aim for 100 grams.  I am vigilant about taking my vitamins.  I am exercising.

I had my first real cookie last week and had no problem with the carbs backfiring on me.  That will not be an everyday occurrence but it is nice to know I can indulge now and then with no major ill effects.  I am also enjoying a cocktail or two most weekends and used some Advil this weekend with no stomach upset.  So the things I was promised would heal and become more "normal" have happened.

Now I am adding more fruits, vegetables and whole grains back into my diet.  When I was in Idaho I bought some Huckleberry Jam at the Farmer's Market and have been using it on my peanut butter sandwiches - heaven! So sad it is almost gone...

8 MONTHS POST BPD-DS WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY

I am just past the 8 month mark following my surgery.  I have lost 120 pounds.  I bought a size 12 Land's End dress last week.  I haven't worn a 12 in over 20 years!

I am fairly settled in to my routine.  I gave a good system for keeping track of my vitamins and supplements.  I get all of them in pretty much every day. 

I also have a good routine for my protein requirements.  I have a small breakfast before work, usually something added to Greek Yogurt (5-10 g).  Then on the drive to work I get a protein drink started and finish it at my desk (30g). I munch on a protein bar during the morning (20-30g).  I am especially happy I found Quest Bars because they have such a great variety of flavors. (I am so very sick of fake chocolate and peanut butter flavored stuff.)

Lunch can be a challenge because I am usually pretty full from the drink and bar; so I have something small like some almonds and cheese or leftovers (5-10g).  Then another snack at my desk later in the afternoon, like protein chips, sunflower seeds or more nuts (5-12g). 

Dinner varies a lot.  If my protein is on the high side I relax and don't worry about stuffing something down.  Today I needed another boost so I made my taco salad mostly  ground beef beans and avocado. I'll probably have another protein bar or drink this evening to get to my 90 grams of protein.

I do find that the evening is hard for me, my stomach is much more fussy at the end of the day so I find I graze a bit in order to find what feels right going down. Also I notice by evening, my stomach will not tolerate a lot of food.  We went out the other night and all I could eat was  3 shrimp.  Then I  waited a couple of hours and had 2 more from my "doggie bag."

My family is concerned that I am not eating veggies and fruits - I do eat a few bites of salad greens, broccoli, spinach or other veggies most days.  I indulge my love of fruit more often eating berries and grapefruit every day.  This week I have had some watermelon and peaches, too.

Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to keep up with the protein requirements in the long haul - I hope that my stomach capacity will grow so I can get more of my protein from food rather than supplemental drinks and bars.  For the time being I am very mindful and just do what it takes!

STOP FRETTING OVER FAT - SUGAR IS THE KILLER

Dr. Nancy Appleton, author of Suicide by Sugar, actually lists 146 reasons why sugar is ruining your health. Here are just a few of them:

(1) Sugar is a cancer cell's favorite food. Even without having cancer, we all have a few cancer cells floating around.

(2) Sugar creates glucose spikes that force the pancreas to produce insulin more often and beyond it's normal capacity. This wears the pancreas down, limiting insulin production that leads to diabetes. Type II diabetes is insulin resistance, which is preceded by metabolic syndrome at least partly attributable to high sugar intake.

(3) A depleted pancreas can't provide sufficient proteolytic enzymes to bust open cancer cell walls and render them defenseless from the immune system's killer cells.

(4) Processed sugar and fructose are stripped of all mineral content and wind up leeching minerals from our bodies, including our teeth. They also inhibit mineral absorption, including magnesium. Magnesium is a commonly deficient and vitally important for over 300 metabolic processes.

(5) Sugar is addictive. It stimulates central nervous system neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin, giving you a pleasant buzz to crave more and promote overeating of processed foods.

(6) Many nutritional experts attribute the rise of obesity and cardiac problems to higher refined carbohydrate and sugar consumption. And the condensed fructose in HFCS is absorbed first by the liver, which cannot metabolize it all and has to store accumulated fructose as fat creating fatty liver.

Obesity, diabetes, and heart disease became epidemic after low and no fat diets were introduced while sugar and HFCS were increased in processed foods and beverages.

Chobani Blueberry Greek Yogurt

When manufacturers took out the fat from many of our foods, they added sugar to make up for the flavor and texture that was lost.  For example, (and this is a great illustration) read the labels on the non-fat yogurts we all think are so healthy.  They are full of sugar!  Just try to find a flavored yogurt on the market that has little or no sugar...

And honey?  That's sugar, don't let the name of the sugar fool you.  There are now dozens of names for sugars.  Read the Carb portion of the label to get the totals,  the ingredient list can be misleading.

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

I have been getting such nice compliments on my weight loss lately from family (they can get their arms all around me when we hug) and acquaintances  (how much more gracefully I am walking and moving around) and co-workers ( how much skinnier am I going to get?)

Each time I am in a situation where someone notices and comments, I have the dilemma many of us who have used weight loss surgery to help our transformation have:  To tell or not to tell.

I did discuss the surgery with most of my family and with my co-workers.  They were the ones who would know I was gone for a week and going through recovery and with whom I wanted to be able to discuss the whole process.  The rest of the world - I don't feel the same obligation to discuss it.  I have lost and gained a lot of weight over the past 30 years and I didn't discuss the specifics - why now?

Of course, when asked point blank, I can't seem to manage a diversion (lie) so I explain the type of surgery I had.  I am not sure if those few people have taken it upon themselves to spill the beans to others.  For instance, I had not planned to tell the book club since I was not attending meetings for the several months during the time I had surgery - so I just returned about 60 pounds lighter. One member knows, I don't know if she told others.

No one in my neighborhood or grocery store or other local haunts has asked and I haven't told.  I think the reality is that most people don't even realize when someone else is losing weight - no matter how quickly.  At some point it registers but they don't have a sense of how long the weight loss has been in progress, so it doesn't seem unusual.  I have lost nearly 100 pounds since August - in 7.5 months.  But people didn't "see" it until just the last couple of months. 

I don't feel embarrassed by what I chose, I just know people can be very judgemental and I am not interested in experiencing that any more than I already have in my life.  I still have major restrictions on what I eat and how I have to support my nutrition, the additional tool I have used to get to this point is my business.

MAKING CHOICES

I had a job interview after work today and Tom offered to take me out to dinner.  I realize from the foods he is craving and wanting to have when we go out that he is missing some of the pasta dishes I used to make!

I ordered an appetizer, which is my new entree these days.  Two nice fat crab cakes arrived.  I ate about 3/4 of one of them and took the other one home to have for lunch tomorrow!  Sometimes I am frustrated by how little I can eat.  That old "mouth hunger" is still there and something I need to be mindful of because as time goes by, my stomach will be able to handle more food.  I am lucky that I had already been well educated about and for the most part living with a high protein/low carb diet.  For many people it is a big learning curve - so different from what they have been taught about the best way to lose weight.

In many ways it is so much easier to make good choices when there are specific limits in place, things that are good and others that are bad.  For me, tracking my foods with limits or levels in mind for my carbs, fats, proteins, etc. gives me that structure to work within. 

Tom and I went to the Farmer's Market the other day and he stopped by a bakery stand to get something and was upset that I wasn't going to get something, too.  But I knew I would be able to find a snack that worked for me and just a few stands away I bought a packet of almonds which I enjoyed. In the past I would have felt let down that I "couldn't have" a yummy pastry, but right now I am happy with the better choice for my health and my goals.

TYPICAL DAYS

 I mentioned in my last post that I would list a typical day or two of eating at 4 months post op.

I start each day with about 1/4 cup of grape juice with my potassium supplement mixed in.  Then I usually have a protein hot chocolate and a protein bar.  I make my own and I have an assortment of them from different companies. I try to make sure they are at least 10 g of protein. So usually my breakfast is between 20-30 g protein.

This is what the taro one looked like!

Mid-morning I have a snack, right now I am enjoying Trader Joes Protein Banana Muffins - 7 g protein but 22 g carbs, so I don't eat them too often! Otherwise I might have some sunflower seeds, nuts or finish my protein bar from breakfast.

Lunch is when I get the most variety and opportunity to experiment.  Costco had a good price on Bay Shrimp so I bought a few pounds and portioned them into baggies and put them in the freezer.  If I take one out the night before, it is thawed enough to add some chopped celery, mayo and seasonings.  I have been putting it in a container with 1/2 avocado and it makes a great lunch with some Wonderslim crackers - 19 g protein. I also look for soups with higher protein and add the protein pretzels or crackers to up my intake.

The other day my boss took me to lunch at a Dim Sum place (I managed to get a customer to finally pay off a $10,000. bill he had owned since last April!) I had almost 4 pieces of Dim Sum.  I am terrible about the names, but one was shrimp in a translucent wrapper, two were minced shrimp and pork dumplings and one was taro with something in the middle.  It was great and I was thrilled that I could eat so much.  I suspect the "wrappers" added up carb wise - but what the heck.  It was a treat!

In the afternoon I sometimes have a protein bar/chips depending on how much I ate for lunch and when I managed to take a lunch break.

Dinner, for some reason, is the meal that I have trouble with.  By the end of the day I am hungry but my stomach is easily upset.  I usually have a small portion of chicken and few bites of veggies.  One recent dinner I added about 1/4 of a potato skin (potatoes scooped out but with butter and salt!)  I have been trying out a lot of recipes from low carb cookbooks to expand my dinner menus. If my protein isn't adding up to 90-120 g for the day, I have a protein drink or another protein hot chocolate.

For a treat, I love to have my red grapefruit sections.  The other night I was wanting something different so I melted some semi-sweet chocolate chips and put roasted almonds in the melted chocolate, spread them out on wax paper to harden and broke them into pieces.  A few of these nuts is a nice treat with hot tea at the end of the day.

ONEDERLAND



Not past this sort of attitude - but on my way...

 My body is in onederland.

That is fat speak for making it out of the 200 pound range into the 199 and lower range! 

It is the promised land for many of us.  And a place I have not seen since the early 1990's.  Now let's see if I can make it to a weight I have not seen since the 1980's...

3 MONTHS POST OP WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY

I finally hit the 3 months mark this week.  I don't know why it feels like such a milestone, but it does.  I guess it is the point where most post-op's feel more settled in, get the labs done and the mystery of how the body is handling things is illuminated.

I feel settled in some ways, but my bowels are still a daily question.  I have been trying to decide if I am lactose intolerant and can't determine an answer.  I have yet to determine the issues behind the days I am in the bathroom repeatedly vs. the more normal days.

I managed to eat two bites of beef stew meat* but then last night some roasted chicken upset my stomach.  I can only eat a couple of bites of egg and many foods still set off my gag reflex.  One day I can eat smoked salmon with a little cream cheese and the next day I can't.  I did have a couple of salads this week - it was so great to have that fresh, clean crunch again.  The salads may have been behind the gastric distress - but they were worth it! So each day is still an adventure.

The small amounts I can eat also pose issues.  I made a batch of "protein pancakes" on Sunday.  The entire  batch is a serving - 6 little pancakes.  I could eat 2.  So the breakfast I had hoped would be 19 grams of protein was only 6.

I finally got my special order potassium supplement from the pharmacy and started it on Friday.  It is just awful stuff.  "Fruit flavored" stuff to mix into water or whatever and it is sour and gross.  I experimented with adding it to different things this weekend with little success.  It is going to be a hard thing to take every single day...

But I am focused on the pleasures.  My grapefruit, more salads, a little pile of sunflower seeds I munch at my desk.  Not to mention that I am down 78 pounds.  My closet is pretty empty and I can't even believe the stuff in there fits me - it all looks so small!



* I make all kinds of things for my husband's dinner, including beef which is not yet advised post-op.  I tasted a couple of bites for tenderness...

AN OLD LOVE IS BACK IN THE DIET

One of the many things I did to prepare for my weight loss surgery was to get off the prescription drugs I had been taking for atypical migraine and for high blood pressure.  Those medications restricted me from eating grapefruit - which I have always adored.  So for about 13 years I have not had grapefruit - until today. 

I was in the produce section of the store and saw these little cartons of red grapefruit (unsweetened) and it suddenly came to me that I could eat it again!  I bought one little container to see how I tolerated it, and it was heaven.  I thought about it all day and stopped on the way home and bought a big container - equivalent to 10 grapefruits. 

I just had some more for dessert!

LABS ARE BACK!

I got my labs back already and all but one thing is in the normal range. My potassium is very low and he doc has prescribed an additional supplement for me.

So what does it mean to have a potassium deficiency or Hypokalemia?  I looked it up:

 A medical condition in which our body fails to retain the amount of potassium required for its day-to-day functioning is called potassium deficiency or hypokalemia. This deficiency of potassium in body can be fatal considering it has a crucial role to play in various body functions - all of which are bound to be affected by the lack of this mineral in the body.

Fortunately my levels, while low, have not persisted long enough for me to have most of the possible symptoms or side-effects, which include:

• Myalgia (muscle pain), muscular weakness and cramps.
• Cardiac arrhythmia i.e. abnormal rate of muscle contractions in the heart.
• Unexplained fatigue and weakness
• Hyponatremia, which may or may not be accompanied by anxiety.
• Impairs nerve transmission and deteriorated nervous system, which, in turn, results in confusion and delirium.
• Skin related problems such as blistering, skin eruptions, dryness of skin, acne, etc.
• Temporary memory loss or other problems like weak memory, difficulty in concentration, etc.
• Sleeplessness and irritability
• Intestinal or lung paralysis
• Heart related problems, such as heart deterioration.
• Increase the risk of high blood pressure
• Ringing noise in the ear at times

I have had very dry skin since the surgery, other than that, some sleepless nights and irritability but nothing I haven't experienced before!  No unusual muscle pain but I do think I have been slow to recover from my new work-outs. I am off BP meds but my blood pressure is down to the high/normal range.  So this should protect my heart health, too.

 One of the great fears of making this great change to my physiology has been that I would loose not only weight but my health. I am thrilled that all the other areas tested were in normal ranges and that an additional supplement will help with this issue.

DAY 8 - POST-OP FROM DS

When I went online looking for blogs and postings about recovery from Duodenal Switch surgery, I found big gaps in the reporting;  a couple of immediate post-op notes and then gaps lasting weeks or  months before more updates. 

Now I have an idea why that is the case.  I have been home for 3 1/2 days and it has not been great.  I mean, I am sooo glad I am home.  I was getting bored and a little melancholy in the hospital.  I under packed pj's and was tired of the smallness of the days.  It wasn't until I got home that I felt my first discomfort.  Not pain, there actually isn't much pain. (I haven't take pain med since the day I got home.)

No, it is more the discomfort of having to figure this all out for myself.  What can I eat, am I getting enough nutrition, am I drinking enough.  Then there is making food - finding out despite what the label claims, whey protein does NOT dissolve in hot liquid.  It forms tough little lumps - and down the drain with the chicken soup I made for lunch.

 I found out that decaf Earl Grey tea doesn't go down so well, but herbal cinnamon tea does. Oh, and jello pudding with added protein powder is good, but if you use a milk alternative like soy or almond milk?  It doesn't jell up very well. 

I will not go into detail, but then there is the whole liquids in liquids out thing - getting the intestinal plumbing to good working order can take months.  I have bloating and my back aches a bit, then it is relieved and then it builds up again. Not fun.

 I sleep well all night, I am still tired after doing stuff and nap during the day - totally unlike me. I did go into work for an hour or so today to survey the damage - not too bad...so I am not feeling pressure to go in for more than an hour or two until I feel stronger.

I managed to make a really nice dinner for my son and husband last night and didn't feel too bad about sitting down to my 1/4 cup of protein pudding.  The lack of variety gets to me after a couple of days and I need to keep looking for those alternatives to eat until I can move to the next phase. I am already looking forward to tuna - and I don't even like tuna!!

I AM OFFICIALLY CRANKY

Now I am going to whine.  I have been really good on the diet. I took 2 days off but otherwise, no cheating.  I have made it through day 1 of this liquid diet. I am hungry but that is not why I am cranky.

No Advil. 

I am an Advil junkie.  I take the maximum allowed everyday; morning, noon and night.  By doing that I keep my arthritic foot happy and relatively unswollen and my knees creaky but not too painful.  Day 2 of no Advil and my head aches, my neck is stiff , my foot is ok, my knees are killing me. I feel like I have the flu or I was beaten with a stick.

I did take a some "natural anti-inflammatories" from the health food store - nuthin'.

I am sooo looking forward to the drugs following the surgery and I still have 4 days to go.  Boo hoo.

NO MORE BREAKS!



Site of many cocktails...

 We had a really nice trip to Yosemite last weekend.  It's funny how we occasionally slipped into talk of the future, post-surgery me.  Partly because I spoke aloud some of my "last time" thoughts.  Last time I would be drinking a rum and tonic or having wine with dinner (for at least 6-12 months). Last time I would try the bread put on the restaurant table - maybe forever.  And next time I would be able to hike longer without my knees hurting so much.

I admit I did a couple of things this anniversary trip that I have not done in YEARS. Now - get your mind out of the bedroom and back to the table...I actually ordered lunch with the homemade potato chips!  I always order the "healthier" side dish or ask for no side dish.  But homemade potato chips with BBQ seasoning?  I went for it. Actually,  I made the server take my plate away before I would eat them all.  They were amazing!  I'm glad I ordered them because as good as they were, as memorable as they were - eating them did not set off some sort of need to have more chips.  which is good to know. 

This is something I have admired about Cammy of Tippy Toe Diet.  She makes room in her plan for "treats" and they don't trigger her to  overeat.  Seems like I may be on my way to that, too. 

THE BEST THING ON PINTEREST

This is what has me pondering these days.  I have been driven by nothing but eating for a couple of weeks.  My clothes are too tight, I feel like crap, I am spending money I don't have, I am procrastinating and letting people down..  So being fat and getting fatter is hard.  Time to choose my hard.

DRAGGED MYSELF TO THE GYM

I made it back to the gym today after a week of  viral lethargy, a strange kind of cold which sapped my energy and has made my head fuzzy.  I did a short work out and mopped everything I touched with antibacterials - the best I can do until they come up with antivirals, I guess.

I did weigh in and was unhappy to see I am up 2 pounds but my official weigh in isn't until Monday and perhaps 2 pounds of mucus will evacuate my body by then!  I suspect the oatmeal and toast diet has something to do with it, too.

I am taking Ally back to school on Sunday and that will also reduce the dining out that she so enjoys having me treat her to.  So until Monday I will leave you with this:  GO 49ers!!

STEP 1 AGAIN

I mentioned in my main blog that I don't need to make a resolution to lose weight and get into shape - it holds honorary,  perennial status.

But I do need to have an approach.  January my goal is to get off and stay off sugar.  I started today.  My experience is that the physical "withdrawal" hits on day 2 or 3.  So I have planned to have some celery, carrots, nuts and popcorn on hand to nibble when the cravings hit.  I am also going to avoid the other bugaboos - like things made with white flour which can also set off those cravings.

My many years of experience tell me that after 5 days or so the sweets craving will subside and I can move to a new phase in my attack.  I am giving myself all of January to get my carby little  ducks in a row.  I have been pulling out veggie recipes and making meal plans.

I have a big clean out the pantry day planned, too.  My husband loves his sugar, but I can buy him things I won't be tempted by.  However, when the will power is low, I am known to go through the pantry and get creative.  So all the little leftover cookie makings will go out - the coconut, the toffee bits come to mind.

I am trying to get up the nerve to put one of those weight loss "tickers" on the sidebar.  I am not in the habit of revealing my actual weight.  Who am I kidding? I NEVER reveal my actual weight.  So we'll see about that leap.

BUTTON, BUTTTON

I have not made a big effort to weigh in or measure myself in the past week.  I have focused on my diet, tracking my calories, and getting out to exercise.

Tonight at work I buttoned my vest for the first time in a few months.  It's  a bit close fitting, but it buttons and that is a big step forward!  Next step, into the smaller size they ordered for me in error. 

TRUE

I EAT TOO MUCH - PART 102

I seem to have lost my blogging mojo when it comes to my dieting life.  I feel like all I do is come up with a new plan and then fall off and then avoid posting so I am not just going on and on about my stress and other issues which I seem to be powerless over.  I am told that I internalize everything that is going on in my life and then it turns around and comes out in rashes and overeating and insomnia and even, lately, in spending money I don't have.

So - blah-blah, me-me-me, stressity-stress, eat-eat.

I will say that I have made some improvements on my overeating, at least.  I am overeating fairly healthy foods.  I have been making chocolate covered almonds with dark chocolate* , very lightly covered with dark chocolate.  I only had one round with some nicely dense whole grain bread and then refrained from buying that again!  I am eating a LOT of fruit, especially watermelon, blueberries and apricots.  Oh, and Golden brand Zucchini Pancakes.  Very tasty and low cal and better than the ones I tried to make myself.  I have only had beef once and chicken twice since I last posted.  I found a lot of recipes using beans in things and have come up with some salad combinations of whole wheat pasta, beans and greens which is a good protein combination. 

I finally got the nerve to weigh myself and I am up 10 pounds from the last time I had the nerve to weigh myself in April.  That makes me about 23 pounds up from my lowest weight last summer.  Few of the clothes I kept from last summer fit me well but I have resisted buying more than a couple of tops. 

So that is the update.  The food is healthier, the amounts must come down.  A work in progress.




* Melt Dark Chocolate Chips in the microwave (about 1 minute on high) and mix in toasted almonds.  (I buy raw almonds and toast them in the oven at 350 for about 20 minutes.)  Stir until covered and then turn out on a waxed paper covered cookie sheet.  Put in frig until completely cooled, then break into pieces and store in frig or cool spot.  Figure your calories based on the amounts of chocolate and almonds you use.  From there you need to estimate your serving size.

NOW I AM TRYING A MANTRA

I have been doing pretty well on the Anti-Inflammatory eating plan.  I have had a couple of slip-slidey days and I am working out how to deal with those things which cause me to overeat and/or eat the "wrong" things.

Stress is the big one, .but  boredom is another.  Specifically boredom at work.  The other night I had plenty to eat in my little lunch bag.  But it was very quiet and very boring and I was wanting to fill up that time and fill up that void of nothing to do with food.  Tonight I didn't really bring enough to eat but I snagged some peanuts from the bar and got pleasantly filled up.  Did that stop me from wanting to eat?  No.

So I found myself saying  "You are not hungry.  This is not about food.  Food is not the answer."  Which is, of course the quote I have on my header!  So now I am reinforcing that little mantra by sharing it here. 

Shall we chant in unison?