TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

I have been getting such nice compliments on my weight loss lately from family (they can get their arms all around me when we hug) and acquaintances  (how much more gracefully I am walking and moving around) and co-workers ( how much skinnier am I going to get?)

Each time I am in a situation where someone notices and comments, I have the dilemma many of us who have used weight loss surgery to help our transformation have:  To tell or not to tell.

I did discuss the surgery with most of my family and with my co-workers.  They were the ones who would know I was gone for a week and going through recovery and with whom I wanted to be able to discuss the whole process.  The rest of the world - I don't feel the same obligation to discuss it.  I have lost and gained a lot of weight over the past 30 years and I didn't discuss the specifics - why now?

Of course, when asked point blank, I can't seem to manage a diversion (lie) so I explain the type of surgery I had.  I am not sure if those few people have taken it upon themselves to spill the beans to others.  For instance, I had not planned to tell the book club since I was not attending meetings for the several months during the time I had surgery - so I just returned about 60 pounds lighter. One member knows, I don't know if she told others.

No one in my neighborhood or grocery store or other local haunts has asked and I haven't told.  I think the reality is that most people don't even realize when someone else is losing weight - no matter how quickly.  At some point it registers but they don't have a sense of how long the weight loss has been in progress, so it doesn't seem unusual.  I have lost nearly 100 pounds since August - in 7.5 months.  But people didn't "see" it until just the last couple of months. 

I don't feel embarrassed by what I chose, I just know people can be very judgemental and I am not interested in experiencing that any more than I already have in my life.  I still have major restrictions on what I eat and how I have to support my nutrition, the additional tool I have used to get to this point is my business.

FOOD NOW

I was on You Tube looking at some videos a friend directed me to - nothing to do with weight loss or surgery - but I saw there were also some videos done by weight loss surgery post-op people so I clicked over.  Guess those Internet cookies do hook people in...

Anyway.  there was a young woman talking about her experience 12 weeks out from surgery. She sounded very sad and I can relate.  While it is exciting to lose weight at such a fast pace, to hear the compliments from others - having your world turned upside down is difficult.  For many people, food is a pleasure.  Planning meals, cooking and eating is a big part of our lives. Those of us who indulge in too much food have a set of problems that people who can enjoy without going overboard don't have.

One of the little talked about effects of weight loss surgery is that you not only lose your appetite, you lose your enjoyment.  Things taste different, things you liked to eat not only don't taste the same they make you feel bad when you eat them.  And I am not talking about indulgences - I mean things like eggs or yogurt or chicken.

The young woman in the video was sad about this, worried that it wouldn't change back and she wouldn't achieve her dream of becoming a chef because of it. I worry , too.  I struggle to get the 800 calories a day I am supposed to be eating.  Most days I don't.  It is hard to eat when you feel bad and nothing tastes right. 

I went to the movies the other night and took a chance on a small bag of popcorn. I felt pleasure in food for the first time in 10 weeks.  It tasted good.  I nibbled slowly and made it through almost half the bag in the 3 hours I sat there.  I am not "supposed to" be eating carbs - but  it was worth bending the rules to know I could feel that pleasure again. Then yesterday I was cutting up a pineapple and I ate 3 chunks of it - oh, my.  It was so good. 

So the old pleasure is there to be had - right now not in the protein foods I need to be focused on, but it's there waiting for me to be healed and healthy again.

HOLA!

I am here in Mexicali Mexico, sitting in a very nice hotel room with CNN on the TV so I can watch the debate!

I flew to San Diego this morning from San Francisco - it was pouring rain, the first of the season.  It created some challenges, but I made it to the flight on time.  I was worried that things were off to a bad start when my credit card was turned down at the check-in counter.  (Of course I only brought one with me so I am going to have to call the bank when I have cell service,)  I got on board and found the flight full except for the seat next to me - hurrah.  I could put the divider up and be comfy without upsetting someone with taking up more than my fair share of space...

I had my pre-op tests at the hospital, met the 2 surgeons and got the news that I could eat dinner.  I was shocked!  They seemed a bit surprised I was sent a liquid diet to follow this week.  Oh, well.

So I had 1/2 a very tasty hamburger with mushrooms and 4 french fries.  Whoo hoo.

These are some photos of the hotel:

 Pretty tile in the bathroom.

 This is what they brought for turndown!

I will probably be out of it for a day or two before I report in from the hospital, and I promise not to take pictures of my incisions!!