1 YEAR SURGIVERSARY

A year ago today I was in Mexicali, Mexico.  I was spending the night in a hotel after finishing some tests  Dr. Alberto Aceves was my surgeon.  He and all of his staff are very thorough, helpful and accessible.  The care I received was excellent and I would recommend the option of undergoing bariatric surgery with him in Mexico to anyone.
and interviews with the Bariatric surgeons at the Hospital Almater.

My experience with weight loss surgery has been chronicled here in the past year.  I did great in the hospital but after a week or or at home I started having some problems with tolerating foods.  I went as slowly as I could introducing different soft foods and then more options into my diet to meet my nutrition and protein needs - I had a difficult time for about 3 months but slowly found the foods and vitamins that worked for me.  There was, and in some ways still is, a certain sameness to what I eat each day.  I remained as patient as I could and put up with bouts of nausea and gastric distress when I strayed from what my body could handle. Having those outcomes in mind makes it a lot easier to stay on the straight and narrow - believe me!

My weight loss has been quite swift and I suppose to people around me, pretty shocking. My kids never knew me at the size I am now - for my husband it was a distant memory!

 It may seem like fast = easy.  In some ways I guess it has been.  When you have a physical barrier to overeating it does make it "easier."  Though I've worked  hard to do it right:  get my vitamins, protein, liquids and exercise - just like all the other times I have "dieted."  Except now this is my life and not a diet I can safely stray away from on a whim.  To maintain lifelong health - I have to stick with these requirements.

I am proud that I have done so well in this first year and I believe I can safely maintain my new found healthy weight and lifestyle.

I want to thank my good friend Christina for making this possible and all my friends and family who have been cheering me on!

STILL ME AFTER LOSING (ALMOST) HALF OF ME

Since I met my goal weight  (I actually dipped under it by about 7 pounds and then gained back 3) - more people have been commenting about how I look.  I take it as confirmation that the weight goal I set is correct as most people are saying how "tiny" I look.  In a world full of women trying to wear size 2-6, I seem to be around a size 10 and apparently look good at this size.

I say apparently because, as odd as it may sound, I thought I looked pretty good when I was 135 pounds heavier. I mean. I know I was obese, but somehow I just never thought I looked especially bad.  I have shown my "before" photo to a couple of people at work who didn't know me before my weight loss and they were so shocked.  Then I can see it, as if through their eyes - the huge difference in then and now.  But in my mind; in my memory I feel pretty much the same.

Don't get me wrong.  This has been life changing in so many ways and I am glad I did it and believe I will maintain my healthier weight.  However - I am not changed.

We celebrated our 29th anniversary this week.  I put a photo from our wedding up on my other blog. When I looked at that picture,  I can honestly say I don't know how my size now compares to then.  I guess it is a form of body dismorphia that I can't grasp my own appearance as others do.  My wedding dress is stored in the closet and I think I will take it out and try it on!  That will tell me something, for sure.

I know many women dislike this and that about their appearance, and I have not loved all of me all my life.  I am lucky, though, that I was never obsessed with my faults and flaws and now that I have exchanged a lot of pounds for a lot of baggy and saggy bits I can accept the exchange and carry on.

A YEAR OF LOSS - NOW MAINTENANCE

I am now a year from the start of my weight loss.   Last year I was on my pre-op liquid only diet for the
week leading up to my BPD-DS weight loss surgery. I was asked to lose 20 pounds in the month between the time I scheduled my surgery and when it occurred - and I did it.  A lot of people said why did I need surgery if I could lose 20 pounds in a month?  Clearly people who were not aware of just how many times I had lost that 20 pounds (or 80 pounds) and gained it back!!

I reached my goal to lose 130 pounds last month.  I am working on a maintenance diet now - I lost a few pounds and gained a few - so I guess I am doing it right.  My latest labs are just coming back and I see I still need to work on my supplements and protein intake - that's why we keep up with the labs every 3 months.  Even though I can eat more, my body is still adjusting to these changes and I need to keep my awareness up with regard to what it needs to remain healthy.

I made a mistake in switching to a different potassium supplement - the quality must not have been good because my potassium really dropped down, even though I was taking it every day.  I went right out and got the one my doctor prescribed.

I am still struggling with my protein intake.  The same old song.  I feel like I eat all day long and still can't get enough grams of protein in.  I am going to have to get more creative.

If I get too heavy on the carb side of the food pyramid,  my body certainly reminds me.  No just the gassy kind of reminder, but I get diarrhea, too.  I don't mean to get gross, but simply to inform as I know there are people wanting to get the real picture of this whole life changing surgery.  While I can carefully and selectively eat carbs - there is a consequence of going too far!

 I am happy to say that I get to enjoy a few cocktails when we go out.  Wine is hard on my stomach and I can't drink enough of it to get tipsy - but a good martini goes down easily and has yet to give me grief!

I have been getting to the gym less which is not ideal.  I need to get back  to  weight workouts.  I know that building muscle is important and will make me feel and look better, too.

We ride bikes every weekend and I can tell I am stronger and faster as time goes by.  We also started taking dance lessons - Western Swing dancing to be specific.  Two nights a week we are dancing for a couple of hours.  Fun, good exercise and another great activity for us to do together.

So that's the physical side of things - more on the emotional side coming up.

GOAL

I have mentioned that I have been close to my original weight loss goal for or some time.  My weight has been fluctuating and hovering just above that goal number but this weekend I got on the scale and found I had reached it.  Goooaaaalll!

When I was on vacation my sister was having me try clothes on from her closet - a new experience for me.  She gave me some capri pants and I wore her swimsuit for a couple of days.  Mine is still a big old plus size one.  swim suits are just so expensive and I didn't want to invest in one until I am at a stable size... We also tried on clothes at a consignment shop and I bought a few things in smaller sizes than I ever thought I would wear.  Pretty cool.

 I am now actively working to keep my weight at the current level.  Not just because my husband is calling me bony butt (we both miss my former JLo-ness) but because I think I have lost enough.  I have a lot of extra skin and a pretty major poochy lower stomach which can all be covered effectively with clothing.  I don't want to go further and get beyond my current "issues."  My sister is very into me getting plastic surgery to remove the excess skin (and weight) but it isn't something I am interested in spending money on in the foreseeable future.

I also can't keep buying new clothes!  I mean, I like shopping and buying clothes, I always have.  But now I want to buy clothes which will last in my wardrobe.  I  have too many things I have bought and worn a few times and now find are too big.  I am looking for a local consignment store (with a better attitude than than the ones in my town which are very snobby) and hope to make some trades with my too big clothes.

This week will be 10 months since weight loss surgery.  I continue to increase my capacity to eat but still have to be careful not to eat too fast or too much. I still count my protein every single day and aim for 100 grams.  I am vigilant about taking my vitamins.  I am exercising.

I had my first real cookie last week and had no problem with the carbs backfiring on me.  That will not be an everyday occurrence but it is nice to know I can indulge now and then with no major ill effects.  I am also enjoying a cocktail or two most weekends and used some Advil this weekend with no stomach upset.  So the things I was promised would heal and become more "normal" have happened.

Now I am adding more fruits, vegetables and whole grains back into my diet.  When I was in Idaho I bought some Huckleberry Jam at the Farmer's Market and have been using it on my peanut butter sandwiches - heaven! So sad it is almost gone...

9 MONTH "SURGAVERSARY"

Today it is 9 months since I had my BPD-DS weight loss surgery.  I have lost 126 pounds and am 4 pounds from my original goal.  I think back to the day I went to Mexico and remember being excited - not nervous at all.  I was sure this was the right thing to do then and so grateful that I had the opportunity to have it done. (Thanks Christina.)

Tom and I went for a bike ride last Sunday and as we were leaving a neighbor I don't often see came over and asked if I was "disappearing". Like many others she asked how I was doing it and I said diet and exercise.  I feel right saying that - I am dieting and exercising.  The surgery was a tool.  My tiny stomach makes me eat less and I am very careful about what I eat.  I am more open with some people about the procedure and answer direct questions more factually - but for most people I simply say I don't eat much and that is the truth.

I occasionally want to say something to obese women I see, especially the ones out and about with their kids.  This has been such a liberation for me and I wish I could confer it on others.  I don't say anything to these women but I wish I could find a way to let them know the value of this, and if their insurance would cover it (unlike mine) urge them to consider it.  I wish I had been able to have it done years ago.

It is not easy.  There is no easy.  But as difficult as things are sometimes and as restrictive as my diet can be, I am so happy that I had the surgery.

NEW GOAL?

I have been amazed and humbled by how fast I have lost so much weight.  I have always had to work so hard for weight loss - no matter how low my calories and high my exercise level, it has always been a struggle.

October 2012 I had already lost almost 20 lbs pre-op.

Now not quite 9 months since surgery and I am down 126 pounds.  Today I updated my "weight loss ticker" and see I am 4 pounds from my original goal and am wondering what my new goal should be.

 I am already focused on my fitness, so that continues to be something I want to challenge.  I had a great meeting with a trainer and got a whole bunch of new stuff to work on.  Tom and I did  25 miles on the bikes today and it was so easy -  now I need to see if I can do more hilly rides to challenge myself (I had to walk the bike up one hill today...)

But the weight thing, I am not sure about.  I have not been especially weight focused through life because I have always "weighed more" than I look.  Maybe aiming for a clothing size?  I am not all that attached to being a certain size but it was a bit of a thrill to buy a pair of size 12 capri pants.  Most of the things I have been buying are 14 or a large, but I have a couple of mediums, now, too.   I was a 12 when I got married and even though size 12 is bigger now than it was then - hey - a size 12 is cool with me!

July 4, 2013

Some people do lose more weight after this surgery than they plan on.  I really hope I will not be one of the people who end up having an issue with that.  I am noticing every week now that I can eat more at a sitting and make an effort to add more fruits and veggies to my daily meals in addition to the required protein.

I try to add fat where I can, too.  Sounds funny in this fat phobic world, but I need more fat since I only absorb about 40% of what I eat.  Fat is good for hair, skin, digestion and vitamin absorption.

This morning we went out to breakfast on our bike ride and I had 1 egg with some cheese scrambled in and 2 1/2 slices of bacon.  I was amazed I could eat all that!  I couldn't last month.  So if I keep this up I should be able to stop the weight loss and start the life long maintenance of my new, healthier bod.

A BARIATRIC SURGEON SPEAKS OUT - NOT THE EASY WAY OUT

I just read this great article written by a Bariatric Surgeon.  He is tired of people commenting about his profession - that he is an "enabler" for lazy, unmotivated fat people taking the "easy way" out of obesity.

He lists not only the difficulties of losing weight and maintaining that loss, the hoops people have to jump through to even get surgery and the fact that the AMA this year has declared obesity a disease and not just the cause of other diseases.

As a life long exerciser, a healthy eater and someone with knowledge of nutrition and of my own psychological issues - I can attest that it is not just a matter of eating less and exercising more.  Yes, for many people there is an issue with eating poorly and not exercising.  For many more of us it is far beyond that simple formula.  No one can really explain all the factors involved but the medical researchers are gaining awareness of the multiplicity of factors which affect different people.

Just as some people can smoke cigarettes all their lives and not get lung cancer, some people live long lives on a high fat diet and others drop dead in their 30's following a spartan diet and running marathons.  None of it is simple.

I had wanted to try weight loss surgery for over 10 years before I was given the opportunity.  As soon as I was aware of the Duodenal Switch I knew it was the solution for me.  I have never been a volume eater.  I have generally been a healthy eater - yes I have binged like pretty much anyone, for the most part I have been eating a high protein, low carb diet for 15 years so I knew I could maintain the dietary requirements.  When people "fail" following weight loss surgery and gain weight, it is probably because they didn't learn enough or know themselves well enough to commit to what it takes to be successful.

The surgery is a tool, not the final solution to the problem.  After all, we still have to eat!

8 MONTHS POST BPD-DS WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY

I am just past the 8 month mark following my surgery.  I have lost 120 pounds.  I bought a size 12 Land's End dress last week.  I haven't worn a 12 in over 20 years!

I am fairly settled in to my routine.  I gave a good system for keeping track of my vitamins and supplements.  I get all of them in pretty much every day. 

I also have a good routine for my protein requirements.  I have a small breakfast before work, usually something added to Greek Yogurt (5-10 g).  Then on the drive to work I get a protein drink started and finish it at my desk (30g). I munch on a protein bar during the morning (20-30g).  I am especially happy I found Quest Bars because they have such a great variety of flavors. (I am so very sick of fake chocolate and peanut butter flavored stuff.)

Lunch can be a challenge because I am usually pretty full from the drink and bar; so I have something small like some almonds and cheese or leftovers (5-10g).  Then another snack at my desk later in the afternoon, like protein chips, sunflower seeds or more nuts (5-12g). 

Dinner varies a lot.  If my protein is on the high side I relax and don't worry about stuffing something down.  Today I needed another boost so I made my taco salad mostly  ground beef beans and avocado. I'll probably have another protein bar or drink this evening to get to my 90 grams of protein.

I do find that the evening is hard for me, my stomach is much more fussy at the end of the day so I find I graze a bit in order to find what feels right going down. Also I notice by evening, my stomach will not tolerate a lot of food.  We went out the other night and all I could eat was  3 shrimp.  Then I  waited a couple of hours and had 2 more from my "doggie bag."

My family is concerned that I am not eating veggies and fruits - I do eat a few bites of salad greens, broccoli, spinach or other veggies most days.  I indulge my love of fruit more often eating berries and grapefruit every day.  This week I have had some watermelon and peaches, too.

Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to keep up with the protein requirements in the long haul - I hope that my stomach capacity will grow so I can get more of my protein from food rather than supplemental drinks and bars.  For the time being I am very mindful and just do what it takes!

OBSERVATIONS ON MAJOR WEIGHT LOSS



May 2012 with my Maggie



I have had some interesting interactions with people about my weight loss in recent weeks.  I have now lost about 117 pounds and while many people who have known me for a long time are very complimentary, I have not received any of the comments I am told others hear all the time.  No one I have encountered has suggested they didn't recognise me. People like checkers at the store where I have shopped for years or the woman at the dry cleaners have not said a word about my transformation.  I guess my world isn't as interactive as reported by many "big losers."

At book club an old friend took me aside and said she was worried I was losing too much weight.  I said to her that I was almost at my goal weight and that the weight loss had actually slowed down considerably. 


June 2013



She admonished me to be careful as I was looking "too skinny."  When I pointed out to her that I am wearing a size 14 - which thrills me, but isn't exactly skinny a few other book club members entered the room.  They looked kind of shocked.  I think because they are probably size 2-4's and would agree that size 14 is nothing to brag about!!

Today I went in for a hair cut and my stylist said something interesting.  (We have known each other for over 13 years.  She used to do my nails, too, back in the days I had acrylics - so we have spent a lot of time together over the years.)  She said that while my weight never seemed to define me, that she could see I had "come into myself" by losing it.  I thought that was very interesting, especially as my daughter had said something similar a week  before.

In many ways I didn't let my size limit or define me, but there are aspects that can't be gotten around, in which  we ARE defined by obesity.  It is interesting that others can see that weight loss has freed me of those undefined, but real barriers.

And if I stay a size 14, I am fine with that.  Actually, I am more than fine with that!

Seven Months Post Op Weight Loss Surgery

This week I enter my seventh month since my BPD-DS surgery.  I have lost 113 pounds. I've been working hard on my supplements and my protein intake which was slightly deficient in my 6 month labs.

This means I rely on pre-made protein drinks and bars for 60 plus of the 90-100 grams of protein I need each day.  Right now I am enjoying the Premier Protein drinks and bars and can buy them in bulk at Costco.

There is such a disconnect between the reality of trying to eat 100 grams of protein a day (with a stomach roughly the size of a banana) and what people think - including my doctor who e-mailed me a note about increasing my protein.  He pointed out that there are 7 grams of protein in a meat or cheese serving roughly the size of a pack of cards.  Apparently he didn't think about how many of those servings I would have to eat to reach 90-100 grams a day! 

My little treats and beyond protein extras are things like a few bites of strawberries, raspberries, broccoli, spinach, tomatoes, salads and this weekend - 1/2 of a scooped out potato skin.  Woohoo!

I'm tired of eating the same lunches over and over so I searched the store this weekend for some new ideas and found a bread  from Alvarado St. Bakery which is 15 carbs per slice with 5 grams of protein.  It is pretty dry, but since I can eat mayo to my heart's content, I slathered some on a slice, added some mustard and 4 oz of cheese.  Tomorrow morning I am going to toast a slice and put almond butter on it for breakfast!  Pretty exciting stuff!

ONE HUNDRED AND TEN FREAKING POUNDS GONE!

I have never been a skinny girl but I have apparently lost the weight of one off of my body. Wow. 


This model claims to weigh 110 pounds - I lost the equivilant of her...)


I am now 6 and a half months post op from BPD-DS bariatric surgery. I have lost 90 pound post-op and a total of 110 pounds since mid-September when I found my doctors and was scheduled for surgery. They said "lose 20 pounds in the month before surgery" so I did. 

As mentioned in a previous post, I had my 6 month lab tests done and there were just 2 tweaks.  I added a separate Vit A supplement because even though my dose was big from the 2 supplements which included it, my Vit A levels were low.  Also, my protein levels needed to be boosted as my "pre-albumin levels were slightly low."  I had been aiming for 80 plus grams a day but now I aim for more like 100 grams.

I am tolerating more foods, but still not much volume.  For instance, I ate a string cheese stick and some almonds for lunch today.  For several lunches  latelyI have enjoyed little "Caprese" salads made of 2 oz whole milk mozzarella, a very small cut up tomato, fresh basil and olive oil.  It's the perfect size for my stomach.  My breakfast lately has been  between 1/4 and 1/3 cup Greek yogurt with 2 sliced strawberries. I snack on almonds, sunflower seeds and peanut butter stuffed celery.

I eat those little meals and snacks every two hours (which is hard to do some days at work) but it doesn't add up to 100 protein grams.  So I supplement - each mid-morning I have a 30 gram protein drink and mid-afternoon I have a 20 or 30 gram protein bar.  If I am coming up short at the end of the day, I do my best to add something else.

Between the little meals, snacks and my vitamins, I am "eating" all day!  I don't have much variety or opportunities to eat anything other than protein foods, but I am certainly not hungry!

6 MONTHS SINCE SURGERY - LABS

I am now at 6 months post op from my BPD-DS surgery.  I am not sure of my weight today.  I was last on the scale 4 days ago and was holding at 103 pounds gone. Weight loss has seriously sloooowed down.

On Tuesday they took 10 vials of blood for my 6 month labs.  The results so far are all excellent. My potassium supplement is working and my Folic Acid went way up, so the added B vits are working, too. I have stuck with my chewables and am not having any stomach upsets as long as I am careful to drink lots of water with the potassium.

Eating is getting easier.  I am much better at judging my capacity, though tonight we went out to celebrate my new job and I ate about 2 bites too many.  I knew it and ate it anyway.  Sigh.  I need to listen to myself and not be so concerned with "wasting" food in restaurants.  Anyway, it was delicious pancetta wrapped shrimp which was char grilled and taking 1 shrimp home would have been a better choice than the upset stomach I have now had for 2 hours!

My new job keeps me very busy and so it is going to be more of a challenge to eat during the day.  I am sure I will get a new routine  down with time.  I do think I will need to eat my solid breakfast at home and drink my protein drink at work.

Exercise is going well.  Still 3-4 trips to the gym and at least one bike outing each week.

SHOPPING FOR THE SMALLER ME

"My clothes were hanging off me, but clothes shopping was overwhelming now. How was I supposed to go into a store with four stories full of clothing that I could fit into? All my previous shopping experiences had taken place within in the confines of a 16-by-16 foot store with limited selection."

I ran across that quote from a woman who had weight loss surgery and has written a book about it.  I wish I had kept the link along with the quote - because now I can't find it.  Anyhow - I totally relate.

I have always loved clothes and have complained for years that the designers and stores must hate us fat people because if there is an ugly fabric to be found - that is what they make our clothes with.  And the embellishments!  They stick rhinestones and puffy paint and all kinds of crap on the awful printed shirts.  The theory being it takes attention away from the size?  Big + shiny is not a good combination, in my opinion.

Then I got too fat to buy clothes in the stores and had to resort to online shopping.  You would think getting too big for Lane Bryant might curb one's appetite - but it didn't. At least there was more variety to be found and I could sort through the dozens of websites and find simple, classic clothing.  Sometimes the clothes arrived and the fabrics were terrible.  (I had a couple of shirts that felt like paper products.)  I had to learn which brands had consistent sizing and put up with shipping and return costs, but all in all I have maintained a decent wardrobe. 

I have always been complimented on my style and appearance;  told repeatedly that I don't "look that big" which I always attributed to my careful wardrobe.  I wouldn't wear things when they got too tight and the online clothes were inexpensive enough for me to update frequently. 

Now I am in a position to change things up a lot.  I still have about 25 pounds to my goal weight and I will continue to have major problem areas which will need camouflage.  When I went out to "real" stores a couple of weeks ago I was overwhelmed by the selection and prices and unhappy to find that most of the clothes were too small, still.  Sizing has gone nuts in the last 20 years!

I did find a few things to buy and reverted right back to my "preppy" style.  For instance, today (it is 80 flippin' degrees here)  I am wearing navy capri's and flats and an orange and white striped boatneck tee.  Yesterday I wore black pants, a black and white stripped tee, a black cardigan and black & white flats.  I bought 4 classic cotton shirts in blue, red & white stripe, white and yellow.

I am now in the smallest size offered in my favorite online store, and the prices are so much less than in the mall, so I am ordering a bunch of tee shirts to wear with cardigans and capri's to get through the Spring and then take another foray into the mall.

My sisters sigh over the fact that I wear red and black and the occasional other color - and I always have. I felt a little defensive when I was showing off my new outfits because I feel like I have other colors, too - but they are right.  I wear classic styles and classic colors for the most part and will likely stick with them for my new wardrobe.

Do you have your signature style?  Or do you mix it up and follow trends?

102 POUNDS LOST



100 pounds of fat - kinda gross shown this way...

 Finally made it past the 100 pound mark - have I talked enough about it? Sorry.  These numbers start carrying so much importance.  When I was young and trying to look hot my best I always thought 125 was a magic number.  I made it and maintained it for only a few weeks and, surprise!, nothing magical happened.  The scale moved back to my more comfortable 130 and that was where I continued to work hard to stay.

Now my goal is to be at 150.  I think I can do that by summer based on the rate of weight loss I am currently experiencing.

I know 150 sounds like a lot.  I was present when someone I know was weighed at 150 and I gave her a little cheer.  She looked at me like I was crazy!  I explained that was my goal weight.  She understood but still acted like I was undershooting by a lot.

This weekend was a weird one.  I had two meals which were of my normal tiny portions but felt sick after.  Sunday I mostly snacked all day because I felt hungry but couldn't eat more than a few bites at a time.  I made an effort to get my vitamins in this weekend, but didn't make my protein requirements (meaning I was under 90-120g.)  Today, Monday, I am already feeling better and have gotten 50g before noon! 

Day by day.

BEFORE AND NOW PHOTOS

I say before and now because I have not reached goal weight - still have about 30 pounds to go!

Spring 2012

                                                                        
                                                                           Spring 2013

STALLED ON THE BRINK

For two weeks I have been waiting for those 2 pounds to drop.  When that happens,  I

will have lost 100 pounds since I started my BPD-DS journey.

It has come to this.  I have stalled.  It always happens.  It happens to most people on weight loss plans.  Our bodies settle in, find equilibrium or whatever it is called.  That and I am probably eating too many carbs. 

I love fruit and have gone from eating very small amounts of grapefruit or berries a couple of times a week to munching on grapes and mango and even some kiwi. Sigh.

I also bought some whole wheat bread for my daughter when she was home and ate 2 pieces of it, toasted, with peanut butter and honey.  Now the bread has been sent to live in the freezer until the next time she comes home.

Further transgressions came in the form of Dark Chocolate Covered Almonds from Sprouts.  Even though I only had 5-8 per day, they are now banished. I bought them after I tasted a sample, then I checked out the nutritional info on the website and there is more added sugar than I expected considering the taste and that it is made with dark chocolate.  A deceptive little treat.

The last sin against my low carb diet is - I made risotto.  And it was good.  I could only eat about half a cup of it, including the added chicken and arugula - but we are talking white rice here. 

So for the past two weeks all I have lost is more hair! 

I have learned my lesson - back to logging all my meals and snacks on Sparkpeople. I'll hit the scale again next week.

5 MONTHS POST - OP BPS-DS WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY

Or maybe some sugar free protein ice cream...

I am now at the 5 month mark and have lost so much more weight than I expected in this time frame.  I am down nearly 100 pounds already. I really didn't expect this.  My weight this month has been slower to come off - in fact it bounces up and down a bit but I think I will make it to the 100 pound mark by the end of the month or at most the first week of April.
I am going to the gym 3-4 times a week and have been going on weekend bike rides.  I am walking most weekdays at lunch for 10-20 minutes.  Hurray Spring weather.

I have been bad about logging my food for the last few weeks - but good about my vitamins and water.  The potassium supplement is still awful and I have missed it a few days here and there due to my desire to avoid gagging memory lapses.  I will do my next set of labs in late April.

I am experiencing hair loss.  I noticed about a month ago that the hair loss was creeping up.  I had a hair cut and my stylist confirmed it.  I am lucky that it is pretty evenly distributed and not leaving bald spots.  I take the appropriate supplements and will continue to use Nioxin shampoo - it is just part of the deal for over half of us who have weight loss surgery.

I calculated my BMI and I am very close to moving out of the "obese" category and into the "overweight" one.  I suspect I will never get into the normal range but that's okay with me - the trainer at my gym is borderline "obese" according to BMI and I wouldn't mind looking like her one bit!

THE SLOW DOWN



One of my favorite snacks. Even better than on bread or crackers!!

 My weight loss has really slowed down in the past month.  I went from losing 5 pounds a week, to 3 pounds and now I am at 2 pounds which is pretty much what I managed pre-op on a good diet with lots of exercise.  This brings me to the point where I need to be much more mindful of all of my food choices.

For those who think that weight loss surgery is a magic bullet and you can eat whatever you want afterwards - forget that!!  It is a tool.  A really big, helpful tool, but only that.  The human element still factors in every single day.  (Something my co-worker can't understand because he is always trying to get me to eat stuff like donuts he brings in.  Friday he brought me a croissant thinking that was a better choice than a donut.  Sigh.)

Now I need to stop adding that little spoonful of brown rice to my dinner, and skip the potato in the pot roast, add Splenda to the coleslaw dressing instead of sugar.  The carbs need to be monitored much more closely.  The big plus for me to giving up bread and sugar is that I don't have to be concerned with fat* - so I picked up some brie to add to my lunch and used full fat mayo when I made deviled eggs yesterday!

In fact, a tip I learned onone of the DS forums was to add whipped cream to greek yogurt to cut the aftertaste and up the fat. I find it impossible to find full fat yogurt anywhere and I feel lucky when I find 2% instead of non-fat. 

The thing people don't realize in all their fat fearing frenzy is that the food companies fill in the flavor lost by taking the fat out by adding sugar.  So the non-fat Fage I just bought has 38g of carbs!!  This is simple vanilla yogurt - no fruit added to up the carbs. Sugar is a MUCH bigger problem in our diets than fat and it is added in everywhere, especially where the fat has been reduced out. 


*Actually, I really need the fat to help with my dry skin and hair.

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

I have been getting such nice compliments on my weight loss lately from family (they can get their arms all around me when we hug) and acquaintances  (how much more gracefully I am walking and moving around) and co-workers ( how much skinnier am I going to get?)

Each time I am in a situation where someone notices and comments, I have the dilemma many of us who have used weight loss surgery to help our transformation have:  To tell or not to tell.

I did discuss the surgery with most of my family and with my co-workers.  They were the ones who would know I was gone for a week and going through recovery and with whom I wanted to be able to discuss the whole process.  The rest of the world - I don't feel the same obligation to discuss it.  I have lost and gained a lot of weight over the past 30 years and I didn't discuss the specifics - why now?

Of course, when asked point blank, I can't seem to manage a diversion (lie) so I explain the type of surgery I had.  I am not sure if those few people have taken it upon themselves to spill the beans to others.  For instance, I had not planned to tell the book club since I was not attending meetings for the several months during the time I had surgery - so I just returned about 60 pounds lighter. One member knows, I don't know if she told others.

No one in my neighborhood or grocery store or other local haunts has asked and I haven't told.  I think the reality is that most people don't even realize when someone else is losing weight - no matter how quickly.  At some point it registers but they don't have a sense of how long the weight loss has been in progress, so it doesn't seem unusual.  I have lost nearly 100 pounds since August - in 7.5 months.  But people didn't "see" it until just the last couple of months. 

I don't feel embarrassed by what I chose, I just know people can be very judgemental and I am not interested in experiencing that any more than I already have in my life.  I still have major restrictions on what I eat and how I have to support my nutrition, the additional tool I have used to get to this point is my business.

DOWN 10 MORE

This is hard to explain but sometimes I worry that I will just keep losing weight until I disappear.

Don't take that to mean this weight loss is easy.  It isn't.  I work hard to meet my nutritional needs every day.  I have to take a lot of nasty vitamins and supplements 4 times a day. My diet doesn't have a lot of variety and while I am experiencing more hunger, most of the foods that sound good are off the table either because they are carb heavy or because when I go to eat them they don't taste good or feel good in my stomach.

I am loving being down 90 pounds!!  I am actually down  119 pounds from my highest weight a couple of years ago. I intend to lose at least 40 more.  Maybe 60 more.  That would get me to the weight I worked really hard to maintain in my 20's, so it seems unrealistic - but maybe not!

I had a good session with the trainer at they gym and have a long list of exercises geared to make me stronger and, with any luck, help fill in and take up some of the slack skin.

I don't think I'll disappear - but I am working to be a new, improved model of myself.