GOAL

I have mentioned that I have been close to my original weight loss goal for or some time.  My weight has been fluctuating and hovering just above that goal number but this weekend I got on the scale and found I had reached it.  Goooaaaalll!

When I was on vacation my sister was having me try clothes on from her closet - a new experience for me.  She gave me some capri pants and I wore her swimsuit for a couple of days.  Mine is still a big old plus size one.  swim suits are just so expensive and I didn't want to invest in one until I am at a stable size... We also tried on clothes at a consignment shop and I bought a few things in smaller sizes than I ever thought I would wear.  Pretty cool.

 I am now actively working to keep my weight at the current level.  Not just because my husband is calling me bony butt (we both miss my former JLo-ness) but because I think I have lost enough.  I have a lot of extra skin and a pretty major poochy lower stomach which can all be covered effectively with clothing.  I don't want to go further and get beyond my current "issues."  My sister is very into me getting plastic surgery to remove the excess skin (and weight) but it isn't something I am interested in spending money on in the foreseeable future.

I also can't keep buying new clothes!  I mean, I like shopping and buying clothes, I always have.  But now I want to buy clothes which will last in my wardrobe.  I  have too many things I have bought and worn a few times and now find are too big.  I am looking for a local consignment store (with a better attitude than than the ones in my town which are very snobby) and hope to make some trades with my too big clothes.

This week will be 10 months since weight loss surgery.  I continue to increase my capacity to eat but still have to be careful not to eat too fast or too much. I still count my protein every single day and aim for 100 grams.  I am vigilant about taking my vitamins.  I am exercising.

I had my first real cookie last week and had no problem with the carbs backfiring on me.  That will not be an everyday occurrence but it is nice to know I can indulge now and then with no major ill effects.  I am also enjoying a cocktail or two most weekends and used some Advil this weekend with no stomach upset.  So the things I was promised would heal and become more "normal" have happened.

Now I am adding more fruits, vegetables and whole grains back into my diet.  When I was in Idaho I bought some Huckleberry Jam at the Farmer's Market and have been using it on my peanut butter sandwiches - heaven! So sad it is almost gone...

MOTIVATION

I got word today that I am set to have my surgery on October 23.  I also received a very strict diet to follow prior to surgery and a suggestion from the doctor that I try to lose 20 pounds before then. He wants my BMI down 3 points!

The diet is basically 2 protein shakes and a "lean and green" meal, preferably at lunch. The week before surgery is a little different; more variety in the protein and as few carbs as possible. I feel confident that I can do that, with the exception of the weekend getaway we have planned for our anniversary. 

That trip actually had a lot to do with my making the decision to go ahead with the surgery.  Tom was talking about going hiking and bike riding and I felt so bad and embarrassed that I have gotten to the point that I can't do those things.  At least not for long and not easily.  My knees have gotten so painful that I can't sleep well some nights and my gait is really different.  I miss being graceful.

I have been wearing my gym shoes to work every day and walking for 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there throughout the day.  I need to build up my stamina and strength, both for the trip and for the surgery.  More than anything - and I mean this- I look forward to being able to exercise.  I have always liked my gym time, hard as it may be to fit in.

I like the idea of looking better and shopping in regular stores, too,  but I have no illusions that this old body is just going to snap back.  I am going to get Tom to take some "before" pictures this week to put aside. I have taken my measurements already, bought my post-op vitamin and mineral supplements and some samples of high protein foods and supplements.

Making this happen.