LOTS TO CELEBRATE

I was reading around on the weight loss surgery sites over the weekend.  It is amazing how many people who have had surgery in the past 3 months and how differently they are doing.  Somehow I missed that when I was researching the process. 

One woman wrote about how much pain she still has after a month - I had none after a week.  Another wrote out her daily food log and after 3 weeks she is eating practically normally - including beef ribs.  A bite of beef puts my stomach into a knot and I am 8 weeks out.  I noticed a post from someone about how great brie cheese is - well, I loved it going down but the "back end" was anything but great!

I am just happy that I have made it through the holiday season - made wonderful meals for my family and ate at the table with them.  We dined out and I ate my little portions without it being a big deal.  I still made cookies and desserts and, my favorite,  "Monkey Bread" without eating any of it. 

I have lost 65 pounds since September, I am into some 1X  clothes and practically everything I was wearing in September has been taken in or donated away.  My body looks alarmingly different and I hope that exercise will help tighten and lift things.  I need to buy new Spanks because my current pair are too big.  And new bras because I can't fill in the ones I have!

While my husband considers it a waste to go out to celebrate New Years because I can't drink or eat much - I know there is a lot worth celebrating for my health and my looks and the benefits to both in the year ahead.

BEFORE AND NOW PHOTOS!

December 2011

December 2012

6 WEEKS POST-OP REPORT

I recovered from my stomach upset over Thanksgiving, only to have it happen again, milder, the next week.  All the doctor can say is that it's healing and touchy. 

The guidelines given to me for what to add to my diet at what time period are out the window.  The very things listed to eat, they now say are hard on a healing stomach. Like yogurt, moist chicken and ground meats and eggs.  Eggs still upset my stomach, even when stirred into soup to make "Egg Drop Soup" which seems to be a big favorite for most post -ops. I just keep trying them every 3-4 days; get an upset stomach, rest it and then try again.

Don't know why I am having this trouble.  I have never had stomach issues with food, but my new stomach is a sensitive little thing.  I am monitoring my food on Sparkpeople and when I see I am low on calories and protein I bump it up.  Surprisingly, I can't tolerate protein smoothies, etc., but I can get down the Protein Hot Chocolate.  Not too sweet and the heat helps.

I seem to be a bit better day by day so I ordered some more "bariatric foods" which have the higher protein I need to help be get to the point that I can eat unprocessed foods for all my nutrition.  I tried to start the vitamin regimen this weekend but threw-up - twice.  So I am hoping the chewables I am taking will get me by until I can get onto the heavier doses.

By the way, I am down 35 pounds since surgery.  Seems like a lot - but it also seems like it should be more considering how little I am eating!!

GIVE IT A REST

It's been a bumpy ride for the past month.  My healing stomach is not happy about most things I put in it and suddenly the day before Thanksgiving it decided it didn't want ANYTHING in it.

Doctors advice - just give it a rest.  So 24 hours with nothing - yes, on Thanksgiving - and then sips of tea and juice for 24 hours then try some chicken broth.  So far those 3 things are the only things that don't make my stomach cramp.  But I keep trying clear and blended soft things.  Am I worried about my lack of protein and nutrition in general?  Yes.  Can I do anything about the state of my stomach?  No. Got to give it time.

If I believed in a higher power that wished to teach me a lesson, I would say this is one of humility.  I went into this with an attitude that I would just sail through the recovery steps.  Clearly not happening!  So I must back myself off my expectations and do what I can. There is no point in forcing anything in this process and if I am the oddball that can't eat an egg or tolerate protein drinks 4+ weeks out, I need to find what I can tolerate and eat until then.

What I am doing is walking more, and using some small hand weights for upper body strength training.  I am working pretty much full time again. 

TURNING THE CORNER - POST-OP DAY 13

Okay now.  I feel like I may just make it after all.  First of all, I had managed to misunderstand the instructions about taking the antacid medicine and should have started it right away.  Oops.  The first time I took it I felt terrible, but now that I have taken it for 4 days - well, it may be the reason I feel so much better, or it may be because it is just 4 more days into the healing process.

Today is the first day I have managed all of my fluid and 46 oz of protein.  Whoo-hoo.  I would still rather not eat at all, but I am doing it.  In a couple of days I will try adding in some of the whey protein again.

DS POST-OP DAY 11

As I mentioned in my last post, there is very little to be found online about these first post-op weeks - and now I know why. 

First of all, please believe me when I say I have got all the information and support I could possibly use.  A nutritionist, support groups and literature.  The reality is:  this is a battle each post-op person has to go through.  I know that, I just don't like it.  I am used to sailing through things that are difficult for others. The surgeon said lose 20 pounds in a month - I did it.  I was the post-op champ in the hospital, cheering on the patients who were struggling. I simply just did not expect this starting to eat thing would be so hard.

The one thing that goes down easily and feels ok in my stomach is Malt-O-Meal cereal. Oh, and Bean with Bacon soup is good, too.  Just can't puree it - nope.  Gag city.  Just chew, chew, chew. The whole - just make tasty food and put it in the blender thing - nope. Not working for me.

Every variation of protein drink I have tried has disagreed with me.  Too sweet or weird taste and stomach upset. Everything I have tried adding the unflavored protein powder to has turned out awful.  Now clearly, this is an issue with my taste buds because some of these things tasted fine before surgery.  That's why I tried so many things - to be prepared.

The number one thing I am concerned about is that I am not getting my protein needs met.  I'm about ready to snort lines of protein powder. Since that is probably not the answer, I am just going to have to gag down the protein drinks.  I am going to stick with the non-dairy stuff again and see if my stomach settles down.  I keep reading that lactose becomes problematic for people and maybe that is one of the issues. I hope that changes on the log run because of the predominance of whey protein on the market, not to mention in my pantry.

DAY 8 - POST-OP FROM DS

When I went online looking for blogs and postings about recovery from Duodenal Switch surgery, I found big gaps in the reporting;  a couple of immediate post-op notes and then gaps lasting weeks or  months before more updates. 

Now I have an idea why that is the case.  I have been home for 3 1/2 days and it has not been great.  I mean, I am sooo glad I am home.  I was getting bored and a little melancholy in the hospital.  I under packed pj's and was tired of the smallness of the days.  It wasn't until I got home that I felt my first discomfort.  Not pain, there actually isn't much pain. (I haven't take pain med since the day I got home.)

No, it is more the discomfort of having to figure this all out for myself.  What can I eat, am I getting enough nutrition, am I drinking enough.  Then there is making food - finding out despite what the label claims, whey protein does NOT dissolve in hot liquid.  It forms tough little lumps - and down the drain with the chicken soup I made for lunch.

 I found out that decaf Earl Grey tea doesn't go down so well, but herbal cinnamon tea does. Oh, and jello pudding with added protein powder is good, but if you use a milk alternative like soy or almond milk?  It doesn't jell up very well. 

I will not go into detail, but then there is the whole liquids in liquids out thing - getting the intestinal plumbing to good working order can take months.  I have bloating and my back aches a bit, then it is relieved and then it builds up again. Not fun.

 I sleep well all night, I am still tired after doing stuff and nap during the day - totally unlike me. I did go into work for an hour or so today to survey the damage - not too bad...so I am not feeling pressure to go in for more than an hour or two until I feel stronger.

I managed to make a really nice dinner for my son and husband last night and didn't feel too bad about sitting down to my 1/4 cup of protein pudding.  The lack of variety gets to me after a couple of days and I need to keep looking for those alternatives to eat until I can move to the next phase. I am already looking forward to tuna - and I don't even like tuna!!

DAY FOUR AFTER SURGERY

Today I had my barium leak test and x-ray.  I got to see each swallow go down and move through my stomach and down into my new intestinal tract.  Kind of looked like jelly fish billowing around down there.  Lot's of activity going on.  My docs are happy with all my otherwise socially unacceptable activities - burping and passing gas.

I am planning to take another shower after they take out the IV cath.  I have only had pain meds twice in the last 24 hours and took them sublingually - so no need for the catheter. 

I have still been sipping, walking and resting.  My bottom hurts from all the resting.  I have been working on my needlepoint and trying to find something to watch on tv since Netflix on my Nook hasn't come through for me.
So that's it for today.  Tomorrow is my last day here - it went so fast!

DAY THREE- POST-OP

I am on day 3 of my new tummy and switch.  I'm feeling good.  Got to shower and I have been sipping juice and Gatorade and walking around the hospital and sometimes just around my room. I am a little butt sore - more than anything else my bottom hurts from being on it so much!

I have not had any pain meds since this morning and except for achiness in my stomach and a little in my back, the pain is mild. I drank blue juice this morning to check to see if I was leaking - no leaks.  Tomorrow I will do a barium test and have an x-ray to see of my new plumbing.

Just got off the phone with my son.  He was asking me about my new tummy and what food it can tolerate and when.  The process is slow; building from liquids to soft food to mushy foods, etc.  The plus is that I don't feel hungry.  An improvement over the last month of dieting.

So I am watching the Giants winning with the sound off - Spanish announcers! and working on my needlepoint and keeping busy.  Home in 3 days!

HOLA!

I am here in Mexicali Mexico, sitting in a very nice hotel room with CNN on the TV so I can watch the debate!

I flew to San Diego this morning from San Francisco - it was pouring rain, the first of the season.  It created some challenges, but I made it to the flight on time.  I was worried that things were off to a bad start when my credit card was turned down at the check-in counter.  (Of course I only brought one with me so I am going to have to call the bank when I have cell service,)  I got on board and found the flight full except for the seat next to me - hurrah.  I could put the divider up and be comfy without upsetting someone with taking up more than my fair share of space...

I had my pre-op tests at the hospital, met the 2 surgeons and got the news that I could eat dinner.  I was shocked!  They seemed a bit surprised I was sent a liquid diet to follow this week.  Oh, well.

So I had 1/2 a very tasty hamburger with mushrooms and 4 french fries.  Whoo hoo.

These are some photos of the hotel:

 Pretty tile in the bathroom.

 This is what they brought for turndown!

I will probably be out of it for a day or two before I report in from the hospital, and I promise not to take pictures of my incisions!!

I AM OFFICIALLY CRANKY

Now I am going to whine.  I have been really good on the diet. I took 2 days off but otherwise, no cheating.  I have made it through day 1 of this liquid diet. I am hungry but that is not why I am cranky.

No Advil. 

I am an Advil junkie.  I take the maximum allowed everyday; morning, noon and night.  By doing that I keep my arthritic foot happy and relatively unswollen and my knees creaky but not too painful.  Day 2 of no Advil and my head aches, my neck is stiff , my foot is ok, my knees are killing me. I feel like I have the flu or I was beaten with a stick.

I did take a some "natural anti-inflammatories" from the health food store - nuthin'.

I am sooo looking forward to the drugs following the surgery and I still have 4 days to go.  Boo hoo.

THE LAST CHEW

My dinner tonight will be the last one I chew - at least for a couple of weeks!  I am going to have salmon cooked on the grill and some zucchini.

Tomorrow I go off the 2 protein drinks and a "lean & green" meal to liquids only. The only positive thing I can say about this change is no more sweet flavored protein drinks.  I just don't care for sweet drinks and a month of them has been too much for me.

I took the opportunity to experiment with with different protein powder samples. Since protein supplements will be a lifelong commitment, I need to find what works for me. One I tried is "unflavored", though when I stirred it into V-8 it was pretty bad.  I can see stirring it into soup or yogurt or something already sort of thick.

Nector brand protein powders come in fruit flavors in addition to the usual chocolate/vanilla/strawberry. The grapefruit was actually quite good, tart and natural tasting.  I ordered a bunch of that. 

When I look at the choices I have for the next 5 days I realize how picky I am.  I am supposed to have sugar free jello for dinner, but I don't like most jello flavors.  I know I can flavor up the broths to make them interesting and palatable, but I can't choke down chamomile tea.  Yuck. 

The first couple of days I can have "drinkable yogurt." I have yet to find any fat free versions, so I may have to go a bit off plan and use the low fat version.  And, of all things, grape juice is the other allowed item.  That I can do, I remember having grape juice and Lorna Doone cookies in the hospital after giving birth and it tasted wonderful!

I am down 14 of the 20 they wanted off pre-op - so I am right on track at 5 pounds a week.  The last couple of days I have been hungry but before that I have sailed through.  Wish me luck for this liquid diet - a new experience for me...

ADVENTURES IN SHOPPING

I have battled my weight since puberty.  During high school I worked really hard to keep it down and still felt like I was the big girl.  I wore a size 12 dress to my Senior Ball.  It was a beautiful, classic dress and my sister and even my mom borrowed it for events. 

I have kept it all these years and when Maggie was invited to a prom and didn't want to buy a new dress, I suggested she try it on - it's a wrap around in stretchy black jersey fabric making it easy for different sized women to wear it.  I was so shocked to see that it was too small for my size 8 daughter.  It was the first time I had run into "vanity sizing."

I am not hung up on sizing - I buy whatever size clothing I think fits best.  I am not one to wear my clothes tight and form fitting - I prefer to skim over my body and if I need to buy up a size, I do. (Maybe being hung up on clothing label size would have deterred me from gaining weight?)

Today I was reading some blogs and a woman who had weight loss surgery a couple of years ago said she is very surprised to find she's now a size 6.  She looked really great, not squeezed into a too small size.  Then I saw that she listed her weight as 154. The last time I weighed around 150 I was a size 14/16. In fact, that is the goal range I am hoping to get to.  So now I am going to be a size 6 or 8?  Cool. 

The interesting thing about this vanity sizing phenomena is that plus size clothes are not getting bigger.  In fact, many of the department store plus sizes seem to have shrunk down.  I buy most of my clothes online because of this.  I can get a 3x online that fits, but most 3x sizes in the stores don't fit!

In about 6 months my clothes shopping adventures are going to be interesting...

DOES FEAR HELP YOUR HEALTH?

After I wrote my last post I realized how much of my dietary habits have been born out of fear. 

I have the belief that " I choose" to order the salad instead of the pasta, I choose not to eat the bread. I choose the berries over the banana.  I choose no dessert. 

But when I read that I was happy that choosing to try the home made chips didn't trigger me to overeat. It hit me, am I making choices out of fear of getting "triggered" or slipping into bad habits?  It's not like I have ever been a big potato chip snacker.  How many other choices do I make because I am afraid? 

I turned down birthday cake at my own party because I had been sugar free for several months.  But really, that was fear. 

Does it matter why I am making the choices?  Is fear as good as any other motivation?

Is fear of getting fat or of triggering a binge or damaging health the way a lot of people stay healthy?

NO MORE BREAKS!



Site of many cocktails...

 We had a really nice trip to Yosemite last weekend.  It's funny how we occasionally slipped into talk of the future, post-surgery me.  Partly because I spoke aloud some of my "last time" thoughts.  Last time I would be drinking a rum and tonic or having wine with dinner (for at least 6-12 months). Last time I would try the bread put on the restaurant table - maybe forever.  And next time I would be able to hike longer without my knees hurting so much.

I admit I did a couple of things this anniversary trip that I have not done in YEARS. Now - get your mind out of the bedroom and back to the table...I actually ordered lunch with the homemade potato chips!  I always order the "healthier" side dish or ask for no side dish.  But homemade potato chips with BBQ seasoning?  I went for it. Actually,  I made the server take my plate away before I would eat them all.  They were amazing!  I'm glad I ordered them because as good as they were, as memorable as they were - eating them did not set off some sort of need to have more chips.  which is good to know. 

This is something I have admired about Cammy of Tippy Toe Diet.  She makes room in her plan for "treats" and they don't trigger her to  overeat.  Seems like I may be on my way to that, too. 

PASSPORT? CHECK!

Since I am traveling to Mexico for my weight loss surgery, I had to get a passport.  Gone are the days of my San Diego State youth when we took trips across the border to see the Jai Alai games or to buy cheap jewelry (I was not one to go down there to party - really, I wasn't) and then sit in line to get back across the border by showing our driver's license.

My first attempt to get the passport was denied because they didn't accept my birth certificate copy.  Back when I got a passport in the late 80's it was fine, but not anymore. So I had to get a new copy from Moscow Idaho were I was born, and start the process all over.  By then I was worried about the timing so I ended up spending even more money to expedite the order. 

It arrived yesterday.  Like everyone else, I hate my photo on it.  It is most unflattering. Even at my current weight I can take a better photo.  Oh, well.  Soon enough I won't look like the picture any more!

COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS

In twenty days I will be having my weight loss surgery.  Sometimes I feel so elated that I am surprised to hear others on the forums expressing their fears.  I know it is going to be painful and hard while recovering and I know it is going to be life changing but I feel as if I am being given a second chance.

This made me laugh.

My husband and I talked about it the other night.  He has now had time to absorb the idea and do a little of his own research.  We talked about some of the restrictions - beyond the pre-op diet I am currently following - he was pouting a bit about my not having cocktails when we were out.  We talked about how some people go through weight loss surgery and then don't change their habits or pay attention to the restrictions, which confounds me.  He said that in the 30 years he's known me I am such a healthy eater that he didn't think I will have a problem. Isn't it nice that he sees me that way? 

Many people assume if you are really big, like me, you must eat entire pizzas or order for 2 in the drive-thru and then eat it all. I have never been able to eat a lot at a sitting. Buffets are wasted on me. Plus, I hate to feel full.  I know I eat more than I should - even healthy foods have calories and they can add up.  I snack and nibble too much between meals.  I go on the occasional candy or baked goods bender.  But my new "plumbing" will prefer small meals through the day and the candy or whatever simple carbs I might want will give me gastric distress.  Good incentive to avoid them!

The duodenal switch surgery is the best for long term "getting back to normal" eating.  From what I can tell, the amounts remain small for life, the need to fill protein needs and take vitamins are first priority and the rest is pretty individual.  Some people can't tolerate dairy, some can, same with sweets and alcohol.  Some people even say their taste buds are different.  Foods they loved  don't taste good anymore.  Interesting how tied in all of our organs are!

So, 20 days to go.  I am down 7 of the 20 the surgeon wants me to lose, but I admit I am going to take a few days off from the protein drinks this weekend while we go to Yosemite for our 28th anniversary!

MOTIVATION

I got word today that I am set to have my surgery on October 23.  I also received a very strict diet to follow prior to surgery and a suggestion from the doctor that I try to lose 20 pounds before then. He wants my BMI down 3 points!

The diet is basically 2 protein shakes and a "lean and green" meal, preferably at lunch. The week before surgery is a little different; more variety in the protein and as few carbs as possible. I feel confident that I can do that, with the exception of the weekend getaway we have planned for our anniversary. 

That trip actually had a lot to do with my making the decision to go ahead with the surgery.  Tom was talking about going hiking and bike riding and I felt so bad and embarrassed that I have gotten to the point that I can't do those things.  At least not for long and not easily.  My knees have gotten so painful that I can't sleep well some nights and my gait is really different.  I miss being graceful.

I have been wearing my gym shoes to work every day and walking for 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there throughout the day.  I need to build up my stamina and strength, both for the trip and for the surgery.  More than anything - and I mean this- I look forward to being able to exercise.  I have always liked my gym time, hard as it may be to fit in.

I like the idea of looking better and shopping in regular stores, too,  but I have no illusions that this old body is just going to snap back.  I am going to get Tom to take some "before" pictures this week to put aside. I have taken my measurements already, bought my post-op vitamin and mineral supplements and some samples of high protein foods and supplements.

Making this happen.

A BIG DECISION - A LONG POST

In the weeks prior to our high school reunion, I was e-mailing back and forth with my good friend.  I was talking her into coming to the event (she has been my date for all the previous reunions) plus it is pretty much the only time I get to set eyes on her.

 Suddenly the topic changed and she asked me if I had ever considered weight loss surgery.  I told her I had gone pretty deep into the pre-op planning about 8 years ago before we lost our coverage - why?  Well, turns out she would like to help me pay for it.  It was one of those "life turns on a dime" moments.  I said I would look into it and we would talk.

Turns out my insurance company not only doesn't cover it - they won't cover anything at all related to it, ever.  They were very emphatic!  Wow.  I got the feeling they had put me on a watch list just by inquiring!

So then I looked into the options.

Eight years ago I had planned on  the Duodenal Switch which is a reduction of the size of the stomach itself and then a re-routing of the intestines which creates a "malabsorption" effect.  It is considered the riskiest, most complicated surgery but the life long weight loss, maintenance and reduction of other weight related problems is the best. It is the only surgery which allows, over time, for me to eat somewhat normally, drink alcohol and take Nsaids. Considering my arthritis - I need that! There is a significant vitamin regimen and certain foods will likely cause distress - like refined carbs and sugar. But apparently it is different from person to person.

They also offer the "Sleeve" which is just the reduction of the stomach size but leaving the pyloric valve, which some of the other surgeries, like the popular Roux en Y, removes.  The new popular one is the Lap Band which is an inflatable band positioned at a spot around the upper stomach.  It can be inflated or deflated to alter the size of the pouch for food to be digested and slipped through into the rest of the stomach.  It is the easiest and least expensive surgery but there are lots of issues with the way you can eat and what you can eat and it requires frequent adjustments (ongoing costs).  There also seem to be a lot of ways to circumvent its effectiveness - not that I would set out to do that...

Anyway, I researched and went on weight loss forums and blogs and learned more than I wanted to know about the different types and how they have affected people and I came back around to the DS.  The DS costs between $30,000. - $40,000. Hard to pin down  (and why the range?), but that is the way our health care works in this country.

My friend and I talked and the amount of money she is offering is not going to cover my surgery of choice.

More research, and the answer has been found. They call it "Medical Tourism."  Going out of the country for medical care which is priced much higher here. 

I am communicating with two surgeons in Mexico and the cost for the same surgery plus a longer hospital stay is  $11,000 and $13,000.  Both are highly rated, very experienced surgeons working out of hospitals.  I have communicated with a dozen of their previous patients and read, probably 50 testimonials and blogs and other writings about them. Can't find anything bad about them - no complaints; more than I can say about some of the US surgeons and hospitals.

Plus, by circumventing all the BS that the US docs do (which runs up the costs) I can get a surgery date in weeks instead of 6-12+ months.

I also discovered a number of post-op people who have taken to YouTube to chronicle their experiences.  YouTube seems to attract a certain kind of person, at least on this subject.  Let's just say they like to hear themselves talk.  There are glimmers of good info, but for the most part - not so much.

However, the benefit of YouTube is the visual. For the topic which concerns most of us very large women it is:  what happens after the weight is lost?  What remains?  Answer:  Lots of skin.  The women brave enough to show it prove that it is not pretty.  In fact, it gave me great pause.  The likelihood of being able to afford plastic surgery is slim to none. 

That shut me down for a couple of days.  No - in truth, I went on a bit of a binge.  After all, when stressed - eat.  How crazy is that?

And yes, I know that having this surgery will mean big changes to that particular issue of mine.  I have given a great deal of thought to it and also read a lot about it.  I know that there are people like Carney Wilson who managed to circumvent the surgery and gain weight back and I don't want to be one of those people.  This is my opportunity to make the changes that need to be made.  Like one guy said on a forum: "I went into surgery a fat guy and I came out as a skinny guy.  I decided to live that way the rest of my life." 

The surgeon required a low carb, low fat diet for at least the week or so before surgery.  I had pasta for dinner tonight and that is going to be the last time for a long time.  Maybe forever.  It will be worth it.

BORN 2 BREAK THE RULES



Maybe they are right - I Googled "fat woman reading food labels"
and only skinny women showed up!!

 There are so many times I read things about fat people, being fat, statistics about obesity, etc. and all I can think of is - not me.  Why is it pretty much every time there is some generalization about fat people, I am outside it?  And, frequently, my skinny sisters are inside it?  I am such a rule breaker.

The new one I read today: 

Ladies Who Read The Nutrition Labels On Food Weigh Less Than Those Who Don’t

Sorry researchers - not this fat lady.  I ready labels top to bottom like they were novels.  My skinny sister does not.

Read further and you know what the big difference is between the fatties who read the labels and the super smart, slim people who don't?   Eight pounds.  Yep.  A BMI difference of  1.49.  Woo-hoo!

Actually, when I read the label on the "good" wheat bread my sister thought she was buying, I pointed out how high the carbs were indicating all the sugar in the bread and she did admit it tastes sweet and that she should read the label beyond whole wheat.  True story.

We can all do with more education on nutrition, but reading labels is only as good as the understanding of nutrition and the accuracy of the labelling itself, which is not so good:

...the law allows a pretty lax margin of error—up to 20 percent—for the stated value versus actual value of nutrients. In reality, that means a 100-calorie pack could, theoretically, contain up to 120 calories and still not be violating the law. The same margin of error goes for other nutrients as well, which doesn't bode well for diabetic carb counters, folks with high blood pressure who are watching sodium intake, or moms looking to boost the iron content of their babies' diets. The FDA has never established a systematic, random label-auditing process, and compliance with the law is expected to be self-enforced by food manufacturers.

Research that, Center for Disease Control and Prevention.  Maybe you government agencies could get together and, ya know, do something useful. Like get the manufacturers to get real with the labels, and the schools to teach current nutritional information and not ye old food pyramid.

OK. I WENT



I take a LOT more stuff with me than Nicole Ritchie.

 And I took my daughter with me!  I signed her up for a month membership at the gym so we can make this a kick off month for good habits before she goes back to school. 

She is going to try low carb with me - though she doesn't seem to have the basics down yet.  After she ate her sandwich of meat between lettuce leaves instead of bread she asked if Wheat Thins were allowed! Those of us who love and could live on bread do understand it takes a while to make that shift.

I realized after my last post that it really isn't the gym per se that is the issue.  I like the gym, I like to get exercise.  The problem is getting up super early and schlepping all my clothes and make-up and towel and breakfast with me - then working out, showering and dressing in the locker room and zipping out the door to get to work.  That is the part I avoid.

After work is not my favorite time to exercise.  Aside from the crowds, I am anxious to get done and home in a timely manner because if I don't make it, there is no dinner. And if dinner isn't on the table by 6:30 or so - Tom roams through the kitchen eating everything in sight and then the dinner I eventually make is picked at.  Plus - not my high energy time of day.  Though, Ally and I may try one of the 7pm Zumba classes.

So - there you have it.  Like working out, don't like having to drag stuff to get ready for work at gym.  Promise to do it at least 3 times a week anyway.

HOW FAST IT GOES AWAY

I  let my gym membership go about a month after I started the new job - so 2 months ago now.  I loved the gym but it was $100. a month, about 12 miles the opposite direction from my job and in heavy commute traffic.  I know that the only time I would have gone was on the weekends.

Of course I had high hopes for going on walks and using my little hand weights to keep my fitness level up.  I thought I would just put music on and dance like Kirsty Ally said she did.  I researched the possibility of buying my favorite aerobic machine to have at home - at $5000. Tom put the kibosh on that idea.  So nothing has happened.  A few bike rides, that's about it.

And oh do I feel it.  I am all soft and jiggly and I have put in inch on around my hips and waist. I get out of breath just walking.  It is bad.

My employer has a bunch of exercise equipment in his garage that he keeps saying he is going to bring into our warehouse for all of us to use.  We have made some preparations - but I don't know when it might really happen - so I joined a gym.  It is a month to month thing so I can cancel easily.  Lots of equipment, pretty good parking, it's kind of smelly but it's right on the way to or from work. And cheap.

I joined 5 days ago - I haven't gone yet.

GEE, THANKS FOR THE HELPFUL NEW STUDY

The folks that are getting everyone confused about what medical tests they should or shouldn't have and how ofter are making recommendations about weight loss.  They suggest that doctors:

should screen all adult patients for obesity during office visits and either refer obese patients to comprehensive weight-management programs or offer them one, says the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force in new recommendations announced Monday.

Wow.  Ground breaking.  And do these folks actually believe that weight is not under discussion already during these visits?  Do they think obese people have not already looked into and probably tried some of these programs?

They go on to say:

studies show that comprehensive programs can lead to a loss of about 6% of obese patients' starting weight, or roughly 9 to 15 pounds, the panel says. That amount of weight loss may reduce their risk factors for heart disease, the panel says in its recommendations, published online in the Annals of Internal Medicine.  If you're obese and you "lose 5% of your weight, you're doing your body a favor."

Really?  If I lose 15 of the 140 pounds I should lose then my weight loss program is a grand success? 

They say:

After reviewing 58 weight-loss studies, the task force found that there is adequate scientific evidence to show that moderate to high-intensity comprehensive behavioral weight-loss programs with 12 to 26 sessions in the first year can help people lose weight.

The best programs often include both group and individual sessions and focus on setting weight-loss goals, improving diet and physical activity, and helping patients monitor food intake and exercise.

"These types of programs really focus on changing your lifestyle," Grossman says. Physicians can refer patients to registered dietitians, exercise physiologists, personal trainers and others who direct weight-loss programs, he says. "Some commercial and non-profit weight-management programs offer many of these features."

Is my very expensive insurance going to help pay for these programs, trainers and dieticians?  No.  Didn't think so. 

I know that my weight issues are laregly psychological and some people, maybe a lot of people, just don't understand the rules of healthy eating and living.  Some people I have seen on TV shows appear to never eat a vegetable, don't have a clue how to eat a balanced diet and never exercise - so I know these guidelines have an audience.

But in reality, all the fat people I know and most of the skinny ones, have been there done that with the diets and diet programs.  Instead of pointing out the obvious, how about getting insurance companies who are blaming their high costs on obesity to kick in some coverage for gyms and pay per session weight management programs?  

WEIGH IN

Just a quick post while I am waiting for my breakfast to warm up. I am also defrosting chicken to marinate for a Chinese Chicken Salad dinner tonight. Multi-tasking has been getting a bad rap lately, but what would we women do without that ability?  It may not all be perfect, but we get a lot done.

I updated my ticker because I am now down 7 pounds.  Pretty good considering my exercise is still spotty and I had 3 vodka tonics with dinner Friday night.  It was a good time but it occurred to me afterwards that I should have ordered scotch and water and avoided the extra calories!

I have one more week until Maggie comes to visit and then a couple of events that will make staying on plan a challenge, but that is ok.  Not stressing about it. 

PRETTY MUCH PLAIN VANILLA - YUM

A couple of years ago  frozen yogurt places started popping up all over the place.  At the time I just didn't "bite."  I'm not sure why.  Way back in the '80's before Tom and I were married we frequently went out after dinner for fro yo.  Then it just went away for a long time.

This last week though,  I wanted a little something and I was tired of the Atkins bars stashed in the drawer of my desk.  I went into the yogurt place near work - Yogurtland - and found they had a no sugar added option in French Vanilla (my favorite flavor) and so I eyeballed a fist size and added some chopped almonds.  It was 6 ounces total and it was good.

 When I got back to work I went on their website and was delighted to see that 4 oz was just 80 calories - so I think the yogurt was probably 5 oz and the nuts 1 oz.  That adds up to less than one of my Atkins bars! 

However,  there was only one no-sugar added flavor available and  they change the flavors frequently; so I can't count on there being a friendly flavor everytime, so I will have to be willing to walk away!

Could you?  Do you FroYo?

SOME EMOTIONAL EATING

If ever there was a time for some emotional eating it was this weekend.  I took to the bottle instead.  Just kidding -  I only had 2 drinks and I used diet tonic.  Plus lots of lime so it was almost a serving of fruit.

I had to put my sweet old dog to sleep on Saturday morning, so it was a tearful weekend and I treated myself with a couple of cocktails and a 6 oz New York Steak.  I had popcorn and mango for lunch.  It was a strange day.

On Sunday my husband wanted to get out of the house - he was missing her tippy taps across the floor -  I had a hamburger for lunch at a local spot with a nice patio.  I don't happen to like cheese on my burger, just mustard and tomato and the bun was "whole wheat." I am sure it wasn't the healthiest choice in the world, but it tasted like a treat and now I have had my red meat for the month.

I still haven't bought a new scale and the digital one suggests I am down another pound.  Not too much damage done.  Except to our hearts.

CAN THIS SCALE BE TRUSTED?

I mentioned that I am using a scale I won at a party and now I am pretty sure it is not to be trusted. Much as I would like to believe that my weight went up 5 pounds and then down 10 in the same week - I don't think that is really what happened! 

The scale is one of those electronic kinds with sensors to measure various stuff and keep track of multiple users.  I am the only user and I never programed it to do anything but weigh me.  Maybe it is trying to burst out of the confines of my simple needs and give me information of a different sort than my weekly weight?

Rather than go through the ups and downs of another week lik this one, I may just head over to CVS and buy an old fashioned scale without a battery and or a brain.

LONG TIME GONE

I have not been here for a long time.  This weekend when the temperatures soared into the 90's I really felt the results of that long time away from paying attention to myself.  Aside from running to the internet to order some larger Spring clothes, I did make a more conscious effort to do more of what I started doing in the past few weeks.

One is that I pulled out the scale I "won" at the work gift exchange last year and weighed myself.  It is a different scale than the one at the gym, but I used that as the measurement I put on SparkPeople.  Next, I started tracking my meals again.  I had managed to get off sugar a few weeks ago and so far I have seen the benefit to the tune of 5 pounds gone.

I am so busy at the new job that I am finding it easy to stick to the portioned meals I am bringing and sometimes don't eat my snack until I am driving home which saves me from a ravenous arrival home.  As long as I don't taste test too much, I am usually good with dinner and I normally don't have a problem with wanting after dinner snacks.  So far I am running at an average of 1450 calories per day.

Activity is an issue.  The job is a bit of up and down, but not especially physical.  I haven't been able to get out to walk at lunch as I had hoped, I need to work on that.  The catch is I am tired when I get home so I don't get exercise in the evenings, either.  Plus there is the whole "second shift" thing with dinner, dishes, housework.  I will work it out.  Things will settle in with the new job and it won't take so much out of me.

So, I'm back. Plan to stay.

POPCORN, MOVIES & ANTIOXIDANTS

Ally and I went to see The Hunger Games on Saturday.  We each polished off a big popcorn (no butter) and called it lunch.  Today I saw this:

Researchers at the University of Scranton (Pa.) ran a lab analysis on the content in several types and brands of popcorn and found that the crunchy hull is rich in polyphenols — antioxidants that prevent damage to cells. Polyphenols also may have disease-fighting properties.

"The hull is where the most nutritional goodies (polyphenols) are — not the white fluffy part," says chemistry professor Joe Vinson, senior author of the study, which was partially funded by a popcorn company.

Fruits and vegetables also contain polyphenols, along with vitamins and minerals not found in popcorn, he says. "I don't want people to think they can just eat popcorn to get all the polyphenols they need. I don't want them to think of popcorn as an alternative to fruits and vegetables."

Oh, and we liked the movie.  They did a good job preserving the story as written in the book.

THE BEST THING ON PINTEREST

This is what has me pondering these days.  I have been driven by nothing but eating for a couple of weeks.  My clothes are too tight, I feel like crap, I am spending money I don't have, I am procrastinating and letting people down..  So being fat and getting fatter is hard.  Time to choose my hard.

THE PAST

"The past is obdurate"  is a recurring line in the book I am reading.  It is the new Stephen King novel 11/22/63 about a man who has found a way to go back in time to try to stop the assassination of John Kennedy.  In his efforts to make changes in the past, obstacles are placed in his way.  He has found that the past doesn't want to be changed, the past  is stubbornly set in place.

 I woke up during the night last night thinking that it is true in my life, not just in a time travelling novel.  The past travels forward with us every day, it is attached to our decisions and to our habits.  No matter how you think you have changed, it is still there.

I know that I need to make lifelong changes yet I 'm dragging along all kinds of beliefs and ideas and comforts from the past.  Even though they don't work for me anymore, even though they don't help me, they fight me to maintain their existence.

To leave the past behind, to make real changes going forward I need to outsmart the past.  So I will read Stephen King and see how things work out in the story as I start to craft my own way around the past.

DRAGGED MYSELF TO THE GYM

I made it back to the gym today after a week of  viral lethargy, a strange kind of cold which sapped my energy and has made my head fuzzy.  I did a short work out and mopped everything I touched with antibacterials - the best I can do until they come up with antivirals, I guess.

I did weigh in and was unhappy to see I am up 2 pounds but my official weigh in isn't until Monday and perhaps 2 pounds of mucus will evacuate my body by then!  I suspect the oatmeal and toast diet has something to do with it, too.

I am taking Ally back to school on Sunday and that will also reduce the dining out that she so enjoys having me treat her to.  So until Monday I will leave you with this:  GO 49ers!!

PAULA DEEN AND DIABETES

Much has been written in the past week about Paula Deen revealing her 3 year old diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes.  Conjecture about not only her diet but the kind of food she demonstrates on her show and sells in her cookbooks as the triggers of that disease.  The damning thing, in my opinion, is that she has signed a  multimillion dollar deal with the pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk to promote their drug treatment for diabetes.  That part is pretty tacky.

Most of us know that Paula Deen does not promote healthy cooking.  She is the Queeen of Butter and everyone is in on the joke.  To blame her for her own illness?   We need to remember this - diabetes isn't caused by overeating alone.  It isn't caused by too much butter or sugar or bacon.  It can be caused by being obese and inactive, AND having a genetic predisposition for the disease.  It also comes on later in life for many, many people as aging takes its toll on our organs and also Hispanic and African Americans are much more genetically susceptible.

We do have a family predisposition for diabetes late in life.  However,  my grandfather who contracted it was as thin as a rail and as active as a toddler.  Not the picture they would place in our minds as a diabetic.

When questioned about the health issues of eating her kind of cooking, Deen told Oprah 'Honey, I'm your cook, not your doctor.'   And that is the truth.  We are all responsible for our health and decisions about our diet and exercise. 

It is time to take away the stigma and shame that the health police are attaching to diabetes.  While patients with heart disease or cancer are often showered with sympathy, people with Type 2 diabetes are criticized for being fat, lazy or junk food junkies.  We need to be more supportive of those at risk so they will be tested , and if diagnosed, control their condition so they are not plagued with further health problems.

OY WHAT A WEEK I'M HAVING

I didn't weigh in at the gym on Sunday because I was going to make Monday my official weigh-in day.  Then this week happened and I have not made it to the gym yet. 

You know that saying about life is what happens when your making other plans?  Or the one about s*%# happens? That is this week.  I am dealing with insurance companies after a fender bender, the cable company (need I say more) and constant interruptions of various sorts to the week I had planned.

As I said yesterday - tomorrow  I WILL get to the gym.  Meantime I put one of those ticker thingies on the sidebar and I hope that the number gets to move down when I weigh in.

OVER IT?

Is it possible that I have eaten so many cookies, candies and cakes in the past months that I reached some sort of satiety?  Because I went off sugar 5 days ago and I haven't felt a blip of a craving.   Nothing. 

I cleaned out the pantry yesterday and tossed some really old stuff hidden behind my husband's sports supplements, some unmarked bulk purchases (I need to label the stuff from the health food department), some lingering crackers, 5 half consumed bags of tortilla chips, 2 half consumed boxes of cereal and a bag of beef jerky with an expiration date in 2009!

 I put the dangerous stuff up high and out of sight.  Maybe if I have to pull out the step stool to get to it, I will have time to reconsider whether I should eat it.

So it has been a good week so far.  I started my food log on SparkPeople and will get focused on calorie reduction this next week.  Monday is weigh in day.

STEP 1 AGAIN

I mentioned in my main blog that I don't need to make a resolution to lose weight and get into shape - it holds honorary,  perennial status.

But I do need to have an approach.  January my goal is to get off and stay off sugar.  I started today.  My experience is that the physical "withdrawal" hits on day 2 or 3.  So I have planned to have some celery, carrots, nuts and popcorn on hand to nibble when the cravings hit.  I am also going to avoid the other bugaboos - like things made with white flour which can also set off those cravings.

My many years of experience tell me that after 5 days or so the sweets craving will subside and I can move to a new phase in my attack.  I am giving myself all of January to get my carby little  ducks in a row.  I have been pulling out veggie recipes and making meal plans.

I have a big clean out the pantry day planned, too.  My husband loves his sugar, but I can buy him things I won't be tempted by.  However, when the will power is low, I am known to go through the pantry and get creative.  So all the little leftover cookie makings will go out - the coconut, the toffee bits come to mind.

I am trying to get up the nerve to put one of those weight loss "tickers" on the sidebar.  I am not in the habit of revealing my actual weight.  Who am I kidding? I NEVER reveal my actual weight.  So we'll see about that leap.