THE PAST

"The past is obdurate"  is a recurring line in the book I am reading.  It is the new Stephen King novel 11/22/63 about a man who has found a way to go back in time to try to stop the assassination of John Kennedy.  In his efforts to make changes in the past, obstacles are placed in his way.  He has found that the past doesn't want to be changed, the past  is stubbornly set in place.

 I woke up during the night last night thinking that it is true in my life, not just in a time travelling novel.  The past travels forward with us every day, it is attached to our decisions and to our habits.  No matter how you think you have changed, it is still there.

I know that I need to make lifelong changes yet I 'm dragging along all kinds of beliefs and ideas and comforts from the past.  Even though they don't work for me anymore, even though they don't help me, they fight me to maintain their existence.

To leave the past behind, to make real changes going forward I need to outsmart the past.  So I will read Stephen King and see how things work out in the story as I start to craft my own way around the past.