SPECIAL EVENTS

I read a quote by someone about the fact that we worry about what we are going to eat during the holidays when what we should really worry about is what we are eating the other 50 weeks of the year.  So true.  We do get very concerned about the opportunities to overindulge during special occasions.  Many people speak about being unwilling to give up the pleasures of rich restaurant meals, family favorites, desserts and cocktails - while  being bombarded by advice on the many ways we can avoid adding calories and pounds and still enjoy ourselves.  Yeah, right.
In truth, if we have been paying attention the rest of the year - is it really such a big deal to indulge during these special occasions?  Beyond the question of forbidden foods and falling off the wagon and all the other ways we label our behavior around food, I think the fear is that we just plain will not stop eating once we start!

In a way this is true of me.  There are so many foods I can ignore all around me much of the time.  I can eat out in a restaurant and not reach for the bread basket or the chips and salsa.  I can say no to dessert without a qualm, I can cheerfully choose the scrambled eggs over the french toast and navigate a buffet spread selecting the healthy items.  However...if I have made monkey bread for my family by request, I will pick at it all day until the tiny portion I served myself at breakfast has ballooned into hundreds of calories. 

While I don't have an "I blew it so I might as well eat (enter ridiculously high calorie food here)" attitude, I do notice that when I have allowed myself to take a vacation from calorie counting for a special occasion - it may take me days or even  weeks to get completely back on track.   

I think this will continue to happen unless I manage to get over my attachment to certain foods.  When I can pass on the foods which currently hold me in their thrall (like good bread) then I will be able to enjoy special events without them turning into breaks from my normal, more healthy, and yes, more restricted eating. 

But I've got to tell you - the Lemon Drop Martinis I had were so worth it, not to mention the tempura fried asparagus appetizer and the pear, caramelized onion and bleu cheese pizza and the bite of sticky toffee pudding and...well, you get the picture!

On the other hand, the photos of the last week do not show me looking the way I would like to look and my knees are giving me trouble.  I do understand that I need to be on the healthy eating and gym attendance routine in order to look and feel better when the next special occasion comes up.

A NEW START

What is it about being given a new chance, a change, that gets us all revved up and making resolutions?  I have not been posting because I have been  living in such a misery of financial issues and  the stress of job hunting, interviewing, waiting, worrying.  Letting myself down by overeating and not exercising even though I know it is counterproductive.

I finally got a job offer - or at least a "two week trial" for a full time position.  The uncertainty of it and our financial need made it clear I would keep the weekend job - so I would be commuting to the one position 5 days a week, keeping me away from home from 7 am until 5:45 pm.  and then working 3-11 on Saturday and Sunday. 

This weekend I had committed to work from noon until 11 to help a coworker.  I was a bit sorry when I saw that the weather was supposed to be (and was) beautiful and warm - but when I added that to having worked at the new job and going back out on Monday morning at 7 am I was worried about being at my best.

But when I came to work at the hotel I was offered a full time job - someone had given notice!  While there are some pluses to the other job - the commute is such a huge negative (and the fact that it shuts me out from working with my sister in the staging business for extra income,) really makes it no contest.  So I am going to be able to finally have a full time job with benefits with time to do other things, like go to the gym and see people and have flexibility.

So I am looking out at the lovely day  and thinking of all the things I will be able to do in the days to come - promising that I will actually do them and not get caught up in misery and depression and let time go by - not let time be wasted.