THE PAST

"The past is obdurate"  is a recurring line in the book I am reading.  It is the new Stephen King novel 11/22/63 about a man who has found a way to go back in time to try to stop the assassination of John Kennedy.  In his efforts to make changes in the past, obstacles are placed in his way.  He has found that the past doesn't want to be changed, the past  is stubbornly set in place.

 I woke up during the night last night thinking that it is true in my life, not just in a time travelling novel.  The past travels forward with us every day, it is attached to our decisions and to our habits.  No matter how you think you have changed, it is still there.

I know that I need to make lifelong changes yet I 'm dragging along all kinds of beliefs and ideas and comforts from the past.  Even though they don't work for me anymore, even though they don't help me, they fight me to maintain their existence.

To leave the past behind, to make real changes going forward I need to outsmart the past.  So I will read Stephen King and see how things work out in the story as I start to craft my own way around the past.

DRAGGED MYSELF TO THE GYM

I made it back to the gym today after a week of  viral lethargy, a strange kind of cold which sapped my energy and has made my head fuzzy.  I did a short work out and mopped everything I touched with antibacterials - the best I can do until they come up with antivirals, I guess.

I did weigh in and was unhappy to see I am up 2 pounds but my official weigh in isn't until Monday and perhaps 2 pounds of mucus will evacuate my body by then!  I suspect the oatmeal and toast diet has something to do with it, too.

I am taking Ally back to school on Sunday and that will also reduce the dining out that she so enjoys having me treat her to.  So until Monday I will leave you with this:  GO 49ers!!

PAULA DEEN AND DIABETES

Much has been written in the past week about Paula Deen revealing her 3 year old diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes.  Conjecture about not only her diet but the kind of food she demonstrates on her show and sells in her cookbooks as the triggers of that disease.  The damning thing, in my opinion, is that she has signed a  multimillion dollar deal with the pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk to promote their drug treatment for diabetes.  That part is pretty tacky.

Most of us know that Paula Deen does not promote healthy cooking.  She is the Queeen of Butter and everyone is in on the joke.  To blame her for her own illness?   We need to remember this - diabetes isn't caused by overeating alone.  It isn't caused by too much butter or sugar or bacon.  It can be caused by being obese and inactive, AND having a genetic predisposition for the disease.  It also comes on later in life for many, many people as aging takes its toll on our organs and also Hispanic and African Americans are much more genetically susceptible.

We do have a family predisposition for diabetes late in life.  However,  my grandfather who contracted it was as thin as a rail and as active as a toddler.  Not the picture they would place in our minds as a diabetic.

When questioned about the health issues of eating her kind of cooking, Deen told Oprah 'Honey, I'm your cook, not your doctor.'   And that is the truth.  We are all responsible for our health and decisions about our diet and exercise. 

It is time to take away the stigma and shame that the health police are attaching to diabetes.  While patients with heart disease or cancer are often showered with sympathy, people with Type 2 diabetes are criticized for being fat, lazy or junk food junkies.  We need to be more supportive of those at risk so they will be tested , and if diagnosed, control their condition so they are not plagued with further health problems.

OY WHAT A WEEK I'M HAVING

I didn't weigh in at the gym on Sunday because I was going to make Monday my official weigh-in day.  Then this week happened and I have not made it to the gym yet. 

You know that saying about life is what happens when your making other plans?  Or the one about s*%# happens? That is this week.  I am dealing with insurance companies after a fender bender, the cable company (need I say more) and constant interruptions of various sorts to the week I had planned.

As I said yesterday - tomorrow  I WILL get to the gym.  Meantime I put one of those ticker thingies on the sidebar and I hope that the number gets to move down when I weigh in.

OVER IT?

Is it possible that I have eaten so many cookies, candies and cakes in the past months that I reached some sort of satiety?  Because I went off sugar 5 days ago and I haven't felt a blip of a craving.   Nothing. 

I cleaned out the pantry yesterday and tossed some really old stuff hidden behind my husband's sports supplements, some unmarked bulk purchases (I need to label the stuff from the health food department), some lingering crackers, 5 half consumed bags of tortilla chips, 2 half consumed boxes of cereal and a bag of beef jerky with an expiration date in 2009!

 I put the dangerous stuff up high and out of sight.  Maybe if I have to pull out the step stool to get to it, I will have time to reconsider whether I should eat it.

So it has been a good week so far.  I started my food log on SparkPeople and will get focused on calorie reduction this next week.  Monday is weigh in day.

STEP 1 AGAIN

I mentioned in my main blog that I don't need to make a resolution to lose weight and get into shape - it holds honorary,  perennial status.

But I do need to have an approach.  January my goal is to get off and stay off sugar.  I started today.  My experience is that the physical "withdrawal" hits on day 2 or 3.  So I have planned to have some celery, carrots, nuts and popcorn on hand to nibble when the cravings hit.  I am also going to avoid the other bugaboos - like things made with white flour which can also set off those cravings.

My many years of experience tell me that after 5 days or so the sweets craving will subside and I can move to a new phase in my attack.  I am giving myself all of January to get my carby little  ducks in a row.  I have been pulling out veggie recipes and making meal plans.

I have a big clean out the pantry day planned, too.  My husband loves his sugar, but I can buy him things I won't be tempted by.  However, when the will power is low, I am known to go through the pantry and get creative.  So all the little leftover cookie makings will go out - the coconut, the toffee bits come to mind.

I am trying to get up the nerve to put one of those weight loss "tickers" on the sidebar.  I am not in the habit of revealing my actual weight.  Who am I kidding? I NEVER reveal my actual weight.  So we'll see about that leap.